Suddenlies...

Thursday, December 30, 2010
The Waiting Room: A Suddenly Around the Corner
By: Destiny Vandeput

Being alone just wasn’t something I was interested in.

I was that girl that always had a boyfriend and thrived off of all the drama that it would entail. I loved the attention and the activity; I loved the dates and I even enjoyed the fights.

The concept of a waiting room was not anywhere on my radar, I was having fun! Right?

Yet, even in all my “fun” of playing the field I was depressed, sad, constantly struggled with thoughts of suicide and above all else I viewed myself as someone who could never be fully loved for who I was. I was a dark person.

But for Jesus.

Isn’t that the phrase that has saved us all from a life of misery, depression and pain?

When I was 20 I had a radical encounter with Jesus that shook me to the core and forever changed my DNA. This girl who thought herself as too rough around the edges to ever be loved, all of a sudden was overwhelmed with the thick, ever encompassing love of Jesus that filled every crevice and left no area unaffected.

My life of sexual immorality had been washed in the blood of Jesus and I was healed; healed in places I didn’t even know I was wounded.

I left my old life and knew I never wanted to go back. I never wanted to be that dark person again.

Oddly enough God had a crazy plan for my life that would consist of meeting the man that was meant to be my husband the same month that began my transformation with God. He saw me at my darkest and lowest points and he saw me through my victories and breakthroughs. He saw me going through deliverance and inner healing. He saw me sobbing with snot coming in streams down my face; he saw me vomiting because my very body was rebelling against exposing and working through the pain of my own life. He saw my dark and then he saw my light and he loved me.

So my story of waiting is a little odd.

God transformed me at a school in Cyprus called Gateways Beyond and when I left that school I was an entirely different person, but I was also in love.

Do you know how confusing that was?

I was convinced that God would put me through a LONG period of singleness because I needed to pay some major penance for all my immorality, right? Because that’s so God who delights in punishing us for our mistakes? No. I should have known immediately that God had something different in store for me.

Within a year and a half of getting saved and meeting Jonathan, we were married. I don’t want to get into it all here, but if you are interested in reading our ENTIRE love story, you can do so HERE. But the main point is that God brought him into my life at ground zero, before I could construct walls, before I could block him out of certain areas. He and I began at my most vulnerable point and God knew that was what I needed to go into a marriage.

So there I was: the girl who had always been told she would always be too much for any man; that no one could truly love because her personality was too strong; God brought the perfect man for me. A strong, European man who was passionately in love with God, who challenges me and leads our marriage. Who encourages me to run hard after God and the things He has placed in my heart. Who has given me the gift of motherhood to the most beautiful little girl, the cutest little boy and another little boy on the way. Who has led us on an adventure that has landed us in another country contending for the Heavens to open over a region. And all of this in the last 5 years!

I’m living the life I never thought I wanted, but now know is everything I was meant to live and more.

You never know what can happen in your life and at what moment.

God works in suddenlies.

Literally one month I was partying, doing drugs and living a life of sexual immorality and the NEXT MONTH I had been radically changed. The next year I was married. The year after that I was a mother.

If there is one thing that I have experienced and am learning to embrace is that life changes quickly.

What may seem like an eternity waiting could be over in a blink of an eye.

So I guess that’s my encouragement to those in the Waiting Room. Trusting God and knowing that He has your very best in mind and that that very best may be the exact opposite of what you had in mind. That the life you are leading today may look entirely different than the life you will live a year from now.

The hardest part of waiting is being okay with that. Embracing the roller coaster that is our lives and saying, YES to the plans and purposes of a higher calling.

A grateful heart prepares the way for the Lord, yet you can be grateful for the rollercoaster ride the Lord is leading you on, but emotions are still a choice. You can hold on tight, knuckles white and clench your eyes closed or you can scream as loud as you can, raise both hands in the air and embrace the ride!

You want to enjoy the Waiting Room, not just survive it.

So here's to life and embracing even the most uncertain times of waiting, because as my life is testimony, there is a suddenly around the corner.

By: Destiny Vandeput
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Blog: http://www.belgexan.com/

Single in this season...

Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Waiting Room: Why I'm Still Single
By: Laura Stephens

Lately, it seems more and more people keep asking why I’m not married yet. I’m 29 and apparently I should be worried about being nearly 30 and still single. But…I’m not at all. There are so many reasons why I’m content with my life even if a husband isn’t in the picture. In fact, you could even say that I’m choosing to view my singleness as a privilege. Yes, it’s true. There are a lot of things to be thankful for in this stage of my life. Here, I’ll even list a few of my favorite things about being on my own.

* The ability to travel frequently all over the United States with my job. I’m gone a lot and I realize this wouldn’t be possible or wise if I were married. So…I’m loving this part of my life mucho gusto.
* Spending money and giving it away on things I decide on. This may appear a bit selfish but I really do enjoy buying things like pretty dresses or concert tickets without checking with another person.
* Sleeping late. No further explanation needed.
* Freedom to serve and give of my time and resources. I have a lot more free time than friends of mine who are married and have children. It’s fun and fulfilling to do things like volunteer at a homeless shelter, bake cookies for the elderly, go on mission trips with my church, etc.
* SLUMBER PARTIES! I love having my girl friends over and staying up late and being as loud as we want. I’ll never forget these times.
* Dating. It’s fun. I find joy and energy in meeting new people. Personally, I see nothing wrong with going on dates as long as I’m honest about how I’m feeling.
* Did I mention the freedom to travel? Oh yes, I’m mentioning it again because I’m planning a trip to Ireland/Scotland in a few months and it’s possible because of my stage of life. Are you tired of that saying yet? Hehe. Well…it’s the only one I can think of.
* Exploring passions and hobbies that I never thought I could do. I’m in the middle of so many projects – photography, music, blogging, creating, thrifting, sewing, a full time job I love, a new part time job at Urban Outfitters just because I’ve always wanted to and have the time, crafting, travel…and on and on and on. Life is so good.
* My apartment smells like a girl. Yea, I like that.
* Having the freedom to stay in Dallas or move across the country to Portland, OR. I have a crush on Portland and want to move there eventually. This would be a lot harder to do if I were married with little kiddos.
* Spoiling my adorable little niece. She won’t be here until February BUT I’m planning on loving on her every second I get because she’s the only baby my attention is going towards at the moment.
* Spending the holiday with my family instead of juggling the time. I’m soaking up the moments I have with my family because I know there could be a day when I have to pick and choose which holiday is spent where.
* Enjoying the life I have can be done without a husband. Basically, I’m content.

I’m content because I haven’t felt the way my married friends have about another person. I’m content because there is more to life than being married. I’m content because there’s a lot of living left to do and time goes by so quickly. And I’m content because I’m not ready for marriage…simple as that. Will I ever be? Possibly. But if not, I’m content knowing God knew my life would be ok without it. Maybe even great, and so far it has been.

Laura Stephens
Location: Dallas, TX
Blog: http://sunshineandstarlight.wordpress.com/

More Thoughts on Singleness...

By Guest Blogger Elisabeth Dunn!

The Waiting Room: No Compromise

One of the most common things that you hear about relationships is that they are full of compromise. Give and take. I am a single young woman. I have never had a boyfriend nor have I ever been in a serious courting relationship. I would like to suggest that as young women waiting for the right man to come along we should be a lot less willing to compromise in certain areas of our lives. I would also like to add that I am writing from a single girl's point of view and I am fully aware that my opinion on this matter might change when I meet my husband, but until then...

My Father told me once that it was very important to marry a man that had a similar call to mine so that I would not feel like I needed to lay down part of my calling in order to marry him. I often find myself confused by young women who date men that they can't see themselves spending the rest of their lives with. It makes me wonder what they are giving up just to play the dating game. I do not believe that we have time to waste on shallow relationships.

This might seem harsh, but how many girlfriends have you sat and cried over a broken heart with? How many times have you heard a girl say she became someone else to be with "him"? How many times have you heard a girl say I changed everything about myself? Or I gave "him" everything? Please believe me I am not trying to make men out to be evil, but for some reason sometimes even without being pressured to, we change everything about ourselves for the attention of a man. A compromise a girl should never make.

I believe that the man is the head of the household and when the time comes I will submit to my husband's authority, but before I even consider a relationship with a man I must know that he has a heart for the nations. Specifically for Israel and Ethiopia. I have to know that he will go wherever the Lord says to go. He has to have a heart for children and orphans. He must love family. These are things I will not compromise on. I will not give these up.

A close friend of mine told me once that marriage isn't about two halves becoming one. It is about two whole people becoming one. I am doing everything I can to be a completely whole person before I meet my husband. The callings that the Lord places on our lives as women is every bit as important as the calling he has placed on our future husband's lives. I just think that sometimes we forget this. I believe there would be a lot less broken hearts if as women we would be less willing to compromise the most important parts of who we are.

Waiting for your husband isn't a sit and twiddle your thumbs kind of thing. God has made us to do great things. You wouldn't want to miss out on something because you are waiting for a man do them with. Who knows he might come sooner than you think if you aren't just sitting around waiting.

Elisabeth Dunn
Location: Grand Prairie, TX
Blog: http://elisabethdunn.wordpress.com/

What are you waiting on?

Waiting is uncomfortable. It can simultaneously make us anxious, frustrated, disappointed, and sad. It has a way of testing our character and our hearts. But, the Lord has asked each of us at some point in our lives to wait. And, if I were guessing, I'd say you're waiting on something right at this moment. It can be a tiny inconvenience or an answer to a prayer you've been waiting on for a very long time. I feel like I know a little something on this topic. Specifically in the area of relationships. Or should I say, the lack of one in particular.

I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine about our frustration with "dating." We were joking about how many set-ups and/or blind dates we've been subject to lately. Between both of us, it's over half a dozen. Please know that I'm not opposed to being set-up...at all. God works in ways that I have yet to figure out, so I'm open to however He wants to work in my life! Our frustration was more about the set-ups being less than what we had hoped for, or maybe in some cases, not at all what we were looking for. And then the ones we do get excited about, inevitably don't work out. For you single girls (& guys) out there, you know exactly what I'm talking about! Let's face it, dating is just hard. I think it's been harder for me because I never thought I would have to wait this long for the "one." I always envisioned myself getting married in my early twenties. I'm the girl who has dreamed about her wedding day and future marriage since I was a teenager. It's always been a when not an if I get married. Every year as I've gotten older, however, I am more worried about the when. Another year passes and it still hasn't happened, and I find myself disappointed yet again. I've come to the realization that I am waiting on this to happen...just this. That everything else in my life pales in comparison to that one thing I want more than anything. Not that I don't love my life, I do. But, at times, I'm waiting on a man like my life depends on it. And it doesn't. My life should be first and foremost about Christ. That's it. Only HE deserves that place.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" - Psalm 37:4

The desire to have a husband hasn't gone away. It's still very much there. But, I've come to the point where I don't want to wait for a man...I want to wait on the Lord. I know, sounds kind of elementary right? Like, why haven't I already been doing that? Well, I have in some ways, but I've also been waiting on my prince to show up any second. I can't make it happen; only the Lord knows when it's supposed to happen and when the timing will be perfect. I want to rest in that. I want to delight in Him. Still, I know that even as I write these words there will be days I am going to fight to rest, to trust. Waiting is painful. It's uncomfortable, remember? But, sometimes, I believe the Lord puts us in these seasons to develop something more beautiful out of us that couldn't have been done otherwise. This isn't the way I would have chosen, but I do choose to trust Him.

So, what are you waiting on? Maybe you're already married and your season of singleness has passed. Maybe you're now waiting on a baby, or a dream job, or physical healing. Whatever it might be, I encourage us to live each day with joy while we're waiting. Because when that one thing we've been waiting on finally comes, we'll be waiting on another prayer to be answered that we may not even know about yet.

The Waiting Room-Intro: A Blog Series on...Singleness

I know I've posted a mini-series on singleness in the past, but this one will be slightly different. Instead of just my perspective, you will have the privilege of hearing from several guest bloggers in the next week. Some are married, some are single, but all have something to say on this topic that I believe will encourage you no matter what season you're in currently.

Enjoy this introduction from my blogger friend, Jenae! www.racheljenaeblog.com

Stay tuned for more awesome bloggers, from different perspectives and seasons of life on the subject of Singleness. Bring your thoughts, your opinions, your questions and share them with us!