Mercies Anew

Mercy.  It's been the topic of many books and songs.  The Bible mentions it in great detail.  And, it's the cry of every human being.  At our very core, we are all desperate for mercy.  We want to be fully known and accepted as we are, but struggle with the fear that if we are vulnerable and show our deepest disappointments and darkest places, we'll risk being rejected.  That if we are raw and laid open, mercy might not be extended.  Yet, there's something so different about the mercy of God.  Something sweet.  Something beautiful.  And at the same time, difficult to fully grasp.  To grasp even a portion of it requires faith.  Faith that even though we may not feel it or believe we deserve it, it remains.  It's steady and constant.  It never changes based on our behavior or works.  We can't do anything less or more that will alter the amount of mercy He pours out because...it never ends. 

God's taken me on a journey the past couple years where I know that I know He wants me to "get" this.  I mean, really get this.  You know those places that are a constant struggle and to even talk about it with anyone requires a lot of courage because it's embarassing and frustrating?  That's where I've been with this.  I've been walking with the Lord for 14 years now.  I should have a pretty decent grasp on the mercy of God, right?  If only I could say, yes, I am fully aware that God has an unlimited supply of mercy for me!  I know that to be truth, but if I were really honest, the problem is that I don't always believe it.  I KNOW there's nothing I could do that would make God love me any more or less than he does right at this moment.  But, even if it's locked inside of my head, it slips outside of my heart.  His word says that "because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his mercies never fail.  They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23).  But God, don't you remember that stupid mistake I made yesterday or the unloving way I spoke to someone this morning?  Don't you remember my past sins and mistakes, all 556,687 of them?  No.  The truth is, He doesn't.  At all.  Every single day the slate is wiped clean.  The sole reason Jesus hung on that cross was so that we could be justified and live in His grace and love.  I think it's human nature for us to be our own worst enemy at times.  We want to keep punishing oursleves for our mistakes and shortcomings.  We want to forget, but have a hard time letting go.  When all the while, God is saying (screaming, at times)," I've forgotten it.  Now, won't you?"  It doesn't bring Him any glory when we aren't living in the fullness of His love and mercy.  No, He is most glorified when we are reflecting His heart and nature.

I want, long for, His mercy to be washed over me every day.  Every single morning.  I need it more than my next breath.  In fact, my next breath depends on it.

Lord, may your mercies be anew in every one of us and may we live with the truth and knowledge that You bestow grace & mercy on your sons & daughters not because of who we are or what we do or don't do, but because of who You are.  And, may we in turn be able to show that same mercy to others as well as, ourselves.