Love is a Choice

January 11, 2011
The Waiting Room: Love is a Choice
By: Maegan Roper

Maegan and I met at work a couple years ago and instantly hit it off. She truly is one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met, and that goes a long way in my book. She has shared wisdom & insight that is invaluable and I can honestly say that she is one of the most Spirit-filled women my age that I have ever met. I hope you enjoy this bit of wisdom & encouragement as much as I did...and leave her some blog love! :)

One can only watch so many romantic comedies or chic flicks before you start believing them. I partially blame my over-indulgent in fairy tale romance day-dreaming on some of those cheesy movies, but largely in part for my misunderstanding of what God's purpose/plan for the marriage relationship really is.

When I was in college, I got involved in a destructive, unhealthy relationship... with a youth leader and seminary student, nonetheless. But, we both were out for self-satisfaction and that seemed to always win in the battles we faced between the spirit and our flesh. My college & career minister at the time asked me a question I'll never forget: "Maegan, can you glorify God more with or without this person?" Knowing the answer in my heart, I started then seeking God wholeheartedly and asking Him to transform my perspective on relationships/marriage. Then, about 3 years later... my husband came along :)

I cherish those 3 years in between beyond explanation. God revealed Himself to me in ways that forever changed me and prepared me for the day I would meet my husband, Jeremy. Knowing and experiencing that solitude is vitally important (in my opinion). Even Adam knew and experienced that solitude in the garden before Eve came along :)

In that period, God confirmed that the response of faith for me was to see singleness as a committed life and not a lonely one. The moment that became content with my heart was the moment my Father took me by surprise by bringing Jeremy into my life. We married in 2006 and since has been a journey of intense joy, love, compassion, and adventure, but also tough struggles, mistakes, and constant change. Something I learned within our first year as husband & wife that has been a valuable reminder is that love is a choice. Everyday, regardless of how I "feel" or what mood I'm in, I wake up and choose to love my husband. Yes, I always want to and do not in anyway see it as a "chore"; however, most days it's a self conscience decision to pour my heart into loving Him as Christ loves me (Matt. 19:6).

God clearly intended transparency & openness as part of His plan for the marriage relationship- vulnerability without shame (Gen. 2:25). So, this is a lesson that has helped me on the hard days when I just seem to want the Drew Barrymore "Ever After" ending :) I realized early on that the self-sacrificing "Agape" kind of love that Jesus asked from Peter is the same that He desires from me and my marriage. The kind that is an act of will and not emotions (1 Cor. 13:4-8). Agape love is unselfish, undemanding, realizes the value of the one they're loving, recognizes responsibility, continually grows, never fades & is pure (1 Cor.13:12-13).

When all aspects of this Christ-like love find expression in marriage "the house will be built, established, and filled with precious & pleasant riches." (Prov. 14:1, 24:3-4). So, whether your singleness is temporary or permanent, there is an Agape love to experience now...in the arms of Christ!

By: Maegan Roper
Location: Nashville, TN
Blog: http://maeganroper.blogspot.com/