New Season, New You!

It's the first official day of Fall! Ahhhhh, my absolute favorite time of year! Starbucks, bonfires, leaves turning, cooler temps...who wouldn't love that!!? This is also my favorite time of year for fashion. Tall boots, over-sized sweaters, cute cardigans, and rich colors! I look forward to this all year long. Really I do. I'm not kidding.

Every new season, I take inventory of my wardrobe and decide what I will need to purchase and what I need to get rid of. I almost ALWAYS find things I need to get rid of! You know, the items in the back of your closet that you haven't worn in years but keep telling yourself you might wear them eventually. Yeah, never happens, right? This is where I can help...

Do you find yourself staring at your closet every morning and not finding a thing to wear? Or, maybe you have a ton to wear but can't figure out how to put great outfits together?? Enter M.E. (I told you I could help.) I started a wardrobe consulting/fashion styling/personal shopping business last year and it's something I truly love helping women with! It's so rewarding to not only construct the perfect outfit, but to watch a woman's self-confidence grow. I really believe that the right clothes can do that.

So, if you're dreaming about the Fall fashions that are out and not sure what to buy, or if you want to give your closet a total makeover, contact me for a quote! I'd love to be your personal stylist!

BeCAUSE of Beauty
Stephanie Hughes
931-588-9042
becauseofbeauty.steph@gmail.com

Wardrobe styling, Fashion consulting, Personal shopping

(Stay tuned for the next post on my Favorite Fall trends!)

29 never looked so good...

Well, it's that time again. My birthday. My favorite time of year...oops, that's Christmas. Ok, it's my SECOND favorite time of year! haha And, I'm just as excited this year as I was when I was 9. Why, you might ask, would I be this excited about 29? Especially when I'm one year away from 30 (oh boy)! Here's a few reasons...

1) It's the one day that I can be the center of attention & not feel guilty about it!
2) I get to spend time with family & friends that I love. (The best!)
3) The cards. (Yes, I love sweet words & for people to tell me what I mean to them...who doesn't!?)
4) The presents. (I'd be lying if I said otherwise).
5) The food. (A.K.A. eating desserts that I otherwise don't allow myself to indulge in). ;)
6) The hope that I'm one year closer to my unfulfilled dreams being fulfilled.
7) And lastly, because I'm NOT 30...yet.

So, here's to 29 and another great year! Maybe by the time 30 rolls around, I can look back on this year and say, wow, this has been the best year of my life! Happy Birthday to me!

Picture Perfect

I'm not sure when this love/hate relationship started, but for as long as I can remember I (mostly) hate having my picture taken. Because it seems that no matter how good I think I might look, the picture tells me otherwise. Now, I realize that a lot of people aren't crazy about their pictures, but this is a painful area for me. Really painful. And frustrating. Not only for me, but also for the people in my life. I've missed out on a lot of great "picture-taking" moments because of my insane need to control how I look in them. Vain? Yeah, probably so. But, not vain in a "I look so good" kinda way, but more in a "why do I always appear ugly in pictures?" (sigh) I get this is a really dumb thing to focus on, but nevertheless, it's something I struggle with and want to overcome.

So, thus begins "Operation Photo." (I just made that up for lack of a better name...don't steal it). ;) I'm going to make a conscious effort to not pick apart every little detail about myself in pictures, not compare myself to people who I think are photogenic, and RELAX more! It helps that I have great friends who actually know how to use a camera and have given me some awesome tips (thanks Jenna!)

So, this might take some butt-kicking from my friends (I'm giving you permission) and some practice on my part (a.k.a. self-portraits that won't be posted anywhere). I don't want to miss out on the moments captured in photos that I can never get back again. I realize that a lot of this begins in my mind and in my own perception of myself, so I need some adjusting there as well. Yet again, it's one more area that I need to give myself the grace NOT to be perfect. So, Operation Photo...commence! :)

Layers

Ever have one of those weeks when you just can't seem to get anything right? Where the same old stuff that you struggle with creeps up again? You think you're gaining victory, but you end up taking a few steps back. Yep, that was me last week.

I've never considered myself to be someone who has struggled with being a "perfectionist." I mean, maybe in a couple areas, but a full-blown perfectionist...no. Those are the people who have to get everything right. I'm not one of those people...or am I? I practically beat myself up over every little thing, I set way too high a standard, and then beat myself up again if I don't reach that standard. Heck, I sometimes even beat myself up over beating myself up! I know, crazy, right? And, if that's not enough, I imagine everyone else must see all my faults too.

Why is this thing called grace so hard to grasp? I catch glimpses & try to hold onto it, but it always seems to slip away again. Grace meets me at the intersection of logic and truth and I find myself at a crossroads. Can I move toward truth and fully embrace grace, or do I continue to follow my own logic that is not only void of grace but instead leads to condemnation? Because logic tells me that a perfect God couldn't possibly love an imperfect me. Right? So wrong. Because He does love me...every single bit of little imperfect me! I'm made up of so many layers. And, more & more, those layers are being pulled away to reveal the woman that God has created me to be. Loving, encouraging, loyal, creative, beautiful, smart, funny...and imperfect. But, peeling off layers can be painful. Because the more layers He removes, the more transparent I become, and the more I need His grace.

Francesca Battistelli's song, "Beautiful, Beautiful," has really spoken to my heart lately. And, is perfect for this topic. The chorus says...

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Mercy reaching to save me. Save me from...me! I need His grace & mercy every day to remind me that on this side of heaven I will NEVER be perfect. But, I am His. And, with every layer peeled off, I'm becoming more like Him. I want to rest in that.

Lessons in the Waiting

I'm not very good at waiting. It's a real problem. I think I was born impatient. I don't even like waiting in line for longer than five minutes! And, if you've read my last two blog posts, then you've probably caught on that I've been in a season of waiting for a long time. Longer than I anticipated...or have wanted. But through this season, God has definitely grown & challenged me & I thought I'd share a little...

In Isaiah 54:5, it says, "For your Maker is your husband — the LORD Almighty is his name." This verse used to confuse me. I just didn't understand how God, my Father, could also be God, my husband. Not only that, but I would get frustrated because I wanted an earthly husband, someone tangible. But, over time, I've realized that if God is described as my husband in His word, then it must be because He is the only One who can be everything I need at every moment of my life. No one else can be that for me. Not even the man that God has intended for me. It's taken a long time to grasp this and I know I haven't even scratched the depth of His love toward me, but I get that He is the perfect provider, comforter, and friend. It doesn't make my longing for a guy any less real, but it has made me realize that my security has to be totally in the Lord. And, that the two can coexist. God is faithful to give me simple reminders of that.

Last week, a co-worker pulled me aside & asked if she could pray for me. I honestly had no idea what it was about, but I never turn down prayer, so of course I agreed! She told me that she knew I desired to be a wife and that she felt led to pray for my husband. Totally unexpected, but God knew I needed a little affirmation that day. She prayed some very spirit-filled prayers & it was such a blessing! It reminded me that sometimes you just have to keep asking. That's hard for me at times. I think, God must get tired of me asking every day for this! Yet, somehow, He's more patient than I am. And, I'm grateful.

Though this season has been a painful one, I can honestly say I'm more ready for marriage having gone through it. Besides knowing that God is my only security and that He still encourages me in the waiting, here's what else I know (and am still finding out)...

1) I'm not in control and can't make it happen...as hard as I want to, I just can't.
2) I don't want to make apologies that I'm picky. Everyone has preferences and I shouldn't feel bad about mine.
3) I might not get everything I'm asking for in a man, but I'm still going to ask...:)
4) I'm willing to be set up, but I'll use my own judgment on who I'm willing to be set up with.
5) That nothing is wrong with me because I'm still not married (although I still have moments with this).
6) That God's love is constant and not determined by my circumstances.
7) I have a lot to offer someone and am, myself, worthy of a man's love.
8) That God has had my husband picked out for me since before I was born.
9) That I might not meet my husband at church...or Starbucks (contrary to what some might think). :)
10) No matter what people's opinions are, God sees my heart.
11) Not everyone understands or wants to hear about my journey. Sometimes, you just have to take it to God.
12) That I am thankful for the friends God has put in my life that do understand.
13) To obey God in the now so He can trust me with the "later."

If you're in a waiting season, be encouraged. It won't last forever. It's just that...a season. And seasons, fortunately, change. I, for one, am looking forward to that.

Dreams & Disappointments

I mentioned in my last blog that this past year of my life as been quite the ride. By now you know that I went through some major changes, but I didn't go into the why. That's what this post is for...

From the time I was a little girl I dreamed about my wedding and the man I would one day marry. I know little girls everywhere dream about their future husbands, but I feel like it's different for me somehow. It's always been the strongest desire of my heart and I guess at times I've felt guilty because of it. Sounds weird, right? I mean, God put that in me for His purposes and I try and embrace it wholeheartedly, but I've felt misjudged for it at times. I've heard everything from, well, you just need to let that desire go...to you need to be ok with being single...to maybe God wants you to die to that desire...to you're just too picky (which I make no apologies for). Now, I know these are well-meaning people, but it does not help. In fact, it's hurtful. For anyone who has deeply desired something and has waited for longer than expected to receive it, those words can reinforce the thought that maybe I am crazy for wanting this. I mean, am I really that different from every other woman in this world? I want a husband that I can encourage, support, and love with my whole heart and one that can do the same for me. I want to be desired and loved by a man, and one who knows how to do that fully. I know it won't be perfect, and I know it won't complete me...that's not what I'm looking for. I just want to experience the journey & joy of marriage.

With every engagement, wedding, and shower that I'm a part of, it only increases my longing for it. I wonder, what's wrong with me? Why hasn't this happened for me yet? I go through the lies (yes, I know they're lies) in my head like, I'm not pretty enough, fun enough, spiritually mature enough...or it would have happened by now.

To say I've been disappointed that this dream is unfufilled is an understatement. There are times where my heart physically hurts. And, there's times I beat myself up for wanting this. Why can't I be like other girls who are content with singleness until the time for marriage is right. I've wrestled with this for so long. Too long. And, I'd like to tell you that it's gotten easier, but it hasn't. I've had a lot of "come to Jesus" meetings. And, I think he's ok with that. Only He really understands the depth of it. And, He's been merciful enough to also put the most amazing friends (& mom) in my life who have cried & laughed with me through it. Mostly cried.

I know that God has grown & taught me in my season of singleness in ways that I may not even see or understand. And, I am truly grateful for that. Really I am. But now, I want to move on! I know trials produce character, but sometimes...you just need a break. This past year was more painful than any I've walked through and yes, it's been mainly because the one change I kept hoping for is still being deferred. I've prayed for this year to be my best year yet. I;m also praying specifically for God to bring my future husband into my life this year. He may or may not answer those. But, a girl can still dream.

Quite a Ride

I never liked wooden roller coasters when I was a kid. You know the kind that go 70mph and are so rickety you feel like you could fly off at any second? Yep, those. I remember vividly the last time I was on one. I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my life. Total lack of control plus everything going way too fast equals scary. I literally closed my eyes until it was over. Not much has changed...I will NOT step foot on one of those things.

The last year of my life could be pretty much described like the above. Tons of uncertainty, many ups & downs, fear, frustration, relief. Pretty much any & every emotion you could feel, I've felt in the last year. It might be because...I've moved twice, lived by myself for the 1st time ever, quit my job, started a side business (still working on that one), began a new job, watched my best friend get married & move away, watched another longtime friend move to the other side of the country, dealt with some health challenges, and a few other things I won't go into. All that to say, it's been quite a ride. And at times, I've wanted to close my eyes until it all stopped. Or scream. Whatever seemed most appropriate at the time I was walking through it! Not to say there haven't been a few ups here & there, but overall, it's been a very challenging year. See, this girl doesn't handle change too well. But, I know the real reason it's been painful is that the one change I do want to happen, still hasn't.

So, I'm dedicating the next several blogs to a topic that I know way too much about (and wish I didn't): being single. I'll warn you, I'm going to be painfully honest at times. I might offend some people (although that's not my intention), and I might sound whiny (oh well). But, my real motive is to offer up what I've learned and hopefully encourage others who are in a "waiting" season in their lives.

I will say this isn't an easy topic for me to write about AT ALL, but I have LOTS to say, so I hope you'll keep reading...