Quite a Ride

I never liked wooden roller coasters when I was a kid. You know the kind that go 70mph and are so rickety you feel like you could fly off at any second? Yep, those. I remember vividly the last time I was on one. I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my life. Total lack of control plus everything going way too fast equals scary. I literally closed my eyes until it was over. Not much has changed...I will NOT step foot on one of those things.

The last year of my life could be pretty much described like the above. Tons of uncertainty, many ups & downs, fear, frustration, relief. Pretty much any & every emotion you could feel, I've felt in the last year. It might be because...I've moved twice, lived by myself for the 1st time ever, quit my job, started a side business (still working on that one), began a new job, watched my best friend get married & move away, watched another longtime friend move to the other side of the country, dealt with some health challenges, and a few other things I won't go into. All that to say, it's been quite a ride. And at times, I've wanted to close my eyes until it all stopped. Or scream. Whatever seemed most appropriate at the time I was walking through it! Not to say there haven't been a few ups here & there, but overall, it's been a very challenging year. See, this girl doesn't handle change too well. But, I know the real reason it's been painful is that the one change I do want to happen, still hasn't.

So, I'm dedicating the next several blogs to a topic that I know way too much about (and wish I didn't): being single. I'll warn you, I'm going to be painfully honest at times. I might offend some people (although that's not my intention), and I might sound whiny (oh well). But, my real motive is to offer up what I've learned and hopefully encourage others who are in a "waiting" season in their lives.

I will say this isn't an easy topic for me to write about AT ALL, but I have LOTS to say, so I hope you'll keep reading...

To call her blessed

My mom & I have always been close...ok, I should rephrase that. My mom & I have been close since I've been in my 20s. We may have had a few struggles when I was a (rebellious) teenager. I try & block that time out. Don't get me wrong...I loved her then, I just didn't understand her advice or her way of thinking. I didn't get why I couldn't just do the things I wanted to do in the way I wanted to do them. At times, I thought she was trying to make my life more difficult.

I've grown up a little since I was a teenager. Ok, hopefully a lot. At least enough to appreciate my mom more every year. And on Mother's Day, a day to celebrate moms, I was reminded that I can't imagine my life without her. She's become more than just my mom, she's my best friend. She's also a spiritual mentor in my life, which is something I'm probably most grateful for. As I've gotten older & grown more in my walk with God, I find myself turning to her for wisdom & advice...a lot. Sometimes, she says exactly what I need to hear...and sometimes she says what I don't want to hear, but know I need. I know that the Lord has given me a gift; not everyone can say they have that type of relationship with their mom. I don't ever want to take her for granted. I'm not saying my mom's perfect, but I have learned so much from her insight. In Proverbs 31, verse 28, it says, "Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her." I could insert my mom's name in there. She is most definitely a Proverbs 31 woman...something that I aspire to be.

To have your children rise & call you blessed and your husband praise you is the highest honor & calling a woman can have on this earth. I really believe that. Mainly because God invented the idea of a wife and a mother. And when a woman knows how to be a good wife AND a good mom, she's a blessing not only to her family, but to those she encounters.

I have many friends who have exemplified the definition of a godly wife & mother. And from firsthand experience, it's so refreshing to see. Especially when this world doesn't seem to place as much value on honoring your role as a wife or mother.

So, this blog is dedicated to my beautiful friends who are wives and/or moms, and of course, to my own mom. I hope that I can be that godly example to someone else one day & take what I've learned & witnessed into my future marriage & family.

A woman's work

About a week ago, a friend invited me to a Women in Business luncheon in Brentwood. I decided it would be a great networking opportunity for my side business as well as a fun way to meet new people, so I went. Plus, the speaker, Mila Grigg, is an image consultant and fashion guru...right up my alley! She spoke specifically on how to dress professionally in the workplace and what that looks like since we all have varying occupations. It was so interesting and I have to say, most of what she said, I agreed with. She went over the basics of what not to wear of course, but also talked about how what we wear directly influences a person's opinion of us. Did you know that it only takes 5 seconds to create a lasting impression? Hmmm, who knew clothing & appearance could be so important, right? :) She also touched on something that hit home with me. She said that fashion is more of a "feeling" for women than for men and that it gives us the confidence we need in the workplace. In other words, if we feel good about how we look, it's going to affect our job performance for the better. I couldn't agree more. It's the whole reason behind why I wanted to do fashion styling in the first place. I love to encourage women because I am one and I know we need it! Being a woman with a career can be challenging in and of itself at times. For reasons that are different for each of us, I'm sure.

So, after I attended the luncheon, it got me thinking even more about the role a career plays in a woman's life. This might also be because it's the biggest thing going on in MY life at the moment. I've just accepted a new job at Lifeway corporate in Nashville and am SO excited about what God has in store for me there. It was a totally unexpected blessing during a very dry season in my life. Maybe I should back up & give you a synopsis of the last 6 months...

Last October I decided to quit my job at Thomas Nelson. I had been there three and a half years and came to a point where I knew it wasn't where or what I was supposed to be doing anymore. It was a tough decision in many ways because it was a good job with a good company & the best co-workers ever! But, I knew God was calling me to take a step out of my comfort zone. So, I accepted a job at a boutique in Green Hills and started a fashion styling business on the side. I loved working at the boutique, but it just wasn't meeting my needs financially, and the business was taking longer than I thought it would to get off the ground. So, in January I started looking for another "day" job. After many applications and several interviews with potential companies, I got a call from Lifeway in March that was totally out of the blue. I had put my application in a while back, but they were calling about a different position. It was in their church resources dept, which I have some experience in. A few weeks and two interviews later, I found out that I got the job! I should say that I felt years ago that God was going to put me at Lifeway one day, so this job offer was confirmation of that. I think that he has something for me to do there that's even beyond what I can see right now. I don't know what it looks like completely, but it'll be fun to see!

The majority of women now days have to work, by choice or not. But, I think that when we've found a career that not only gives us the confidence we need in life AND that we enjoy, but we're also doing it "as unto the Lord," it really makes a huge difference. He put men AND women on this earth to accomplish His purposes. He has put us each exactly where we're supposed to be for this season in our lives. And, that's exciting.

A weighty issue

I've never been one of those girls that was destined to be tiny. It's a struggle for me to lose the 10 pounds I've wanted to lose for, well, too long. I've always had issues with my size. I know, I know...most people probably wouldn't understand why. I mean, I know I'm not overweight, but since I'm not tiny either, I tend to put a magnifying glass to all the areas I'd like to shrink. My arms need to be smaller, my waist is too short, and my love handles need to be loved less. More than anything though, I know that if I focused less on these areas and more on the areas I'm happy with, it wouldn't be as big of an issue. Can you girls out there relate to that? Or is it just me?


They say the average woman is a size 12. So, why do the majority of fashion magazines picture a size 2 as the ideal? I wonder if we saw more pictures of "average" women we would have less issues with body image? Less issues with anorexia and bulimia. Society's standard of beauty can be physically & emotionally deadly to young women. Yet it's so easy to buy into...even if we don't realize we are. I'm guilty of it.

Now, I'm not saying that being a size 2 is wrong. Some women are born to be that way! There are a lot of women that are size 2's that are beautiful. But, there's so many women I know who aren't size 2's that are equally as beautiful. My point is that beauty shouldn't be measured by the size jeans we put on. Should it? We're all made so differently...for a purpose. Some of us are going to have to live with that butt & those hips, and some wish they had them! For me, I want to be able to embrace the shape that God gave me. That doesn't mean that I don't want to eat healthy, workout, and be the best version of me that I can possibly be. But, I do want to keep it in the right perspective. The whole "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" stuff that God talks about...yeah, that perspective. Hard to do, I know. But, I think it's possible.

If you struggle with this, as I know probably every woman on planet earth has, just know that you can gain freedom in this area. Every woman's journey is different. I'm still on the journey; I will be for a while I'm sure. I can tell you that when I choose to look at my "good" features, it makes a huge difference in my self-confidence. I know a woman is hardest on herself, but we ALL have features we like. So, look in the mirror & name them! Yep, name them one by one. I promise, it'll make a difference. And, know that whether you're a size 2 or 12, or something else entirely, you're beautiful to someone...and you're beautiful especially to the One who created you. The One whose opinion matters most.

The pain of beauty

B E A U T Y. A word that has many meanings depending on who you're talking to. It's been the subject of people across the world for generations. We see it in magazines, on billboards, across the Internet, in Hollywood, and well, everywhere. Women strive to be beautiful while men seek after it. It can invoke fear...pain...pride...peace. What is it about that little word that carries so much weight?

I don't want to get into a deep discussion about beauty or try and find some universal definition that doesn't even exist. I simply want to give a new perspective and tell you my journey...

Anyone that knows me really well, and I mean really well, knows that I have struggled with this issue of beauty for years. It's been a real source of pain for me. One that I don't completely understand. No one in my past, or present, has ever made me feel like I'm not beautiful. I've done a good job of that on my own. It's come from years & years of scrutinizing and picking apart all the little things about myself until they became huge things in my eyes. Until I believed the lies I was hearing in my head. I would venture out in saying though, that I'm not alone in this struggle. Women, especially, have a difficult time seeing themselves as beautiful. If you're a woman and you're reading this, chances are you've dealt with issues of low self-esteem and self-worth more than once in your life. And if you haven't, well then, you're a stronger woman than I am.

I'm probably the least likely candidate to be writing a blog on the topic of beauty. Especially when I haven't fully embraced my own. But, as I get older, I realize that slowly, at times very slowly, I begin to understand what it really means to be beautiful. It means not comparing yourself to others, accepting what you've been born with, working with what you have, finding the beauty in others, and most importantly, knowing that true beauty can only come from the Lord. He is beauty and it was because of beauty that He calls us his own. He endured pain to make us beautiful. That's the beauty I want to know more about.

In the coming months, I want this blog to serve as an encouragement to any woman who reads it. The Lord gave me the name, beCAUSEof beauty, not only for my wardrobe styling business, but also for a ministry to women that I believe He is calling me to. I love fashion (if you know me at all, you know that!), but I want whatever I do to have a cause behind it, hence the name. So, I'm not really sure where this journey will lead, but I'll keep you posted! Thanks for reading!