Most of my friends (ok, all of them) can tell you that I'm a little directionally impaired. I can't remember a time since I started driving that this wasn't the case. It's like my internal compass is broken and I somehow always manage to get lost, especially if I'm completely unfamiliar with the area. Needless to say, it's pretty frustrating...and slightly embarrassing at times. Thankfully I now have a smart phone that's smarter than me & gives me turn by turn directions! Life changer y'all, seriously. Because, when you have to be somewhere, it's helpful to know where you're going and how to get there. Being lost is one of the worst feelings I can think of. I hate every.single.minute of it, and am thoroughly relieved when I've finally found my way.
I recently walked through a season where my faith was majorly put to the test. Not the, "I'm not sure if I believe in God anymore" kind of test. No, it was the kind that left me wondering if I'm really being led by Him and can still hear Him speaking to me personally. Almost worse for a girl who won't make a move without first knowing that God is directing. It left me feeling a little sick inside. Empty. Lost.
What is our natural inclination when we feel empty, or lost? To fill ourselves with something. Anything that will erase, or at least numb, the void we feel in the depth of our being. The problem is, when we turn to anything other than God to feel whole, we will still be left empty. Oh sure, it'll feel great for a little while...until the high eventually wears off. And, it will. It always does. Then, we're left standing there, spinning in circles because the direction we should have taken was toward God, not away from Him. It's not always something extreme like sex, pornography, or excessive drinking that causes us to stray. No, sometimes it's more subtle than that. And, all it takes is one weak moment.
Recently, I began struggling again with feeling inferior & unattractive. A battle that tries to rear its ugly head from time to time, but one that I experienced a lot of freedom in last year. So, when it popped back up (not welcomed, of course), I knew immediately what triggered it. I had let my guard down and instead of refusing to believe the lies, I went the opposite direction. I numbed the feelings of insecurity, and did what a lot of girls probably do...I shopped more. I thought if I can just buy more beautiful things and keep "improving" on what God gave me, then maybe I'll feel whole again. Secure. Pretty. Except, that didn't work. Those "things" can't complete me or satisfy me the way that only God can. They weren't meant to. So, is it wrong for me to enjoy fashion & "girly" stuff? Not at all. But, is it destructive when I look to that alone to give me value & worth? Absolutely.
I'd like to say I passed this test right away, but unfortunately, that's not how this story goes. I "went around the mountain" a few times, thus causing a lot of unnecessary heartache for myself. Isn't that what we humans are so good at? Falling into temptation, hanging out there for a while, until we feel so utterly broken and lost that all we want is to make our way back home.
Thankfully, the journey doesn't have to end with heartache and failure. God is pretty great at beckoning us home. Actually, He's the best. Whatever it is in your life that seeks to draw you away from the only One who can truly heal our emptiness and pain, you can make a conscious choice to put a stop to the empty pursuit, and go the other direction. God's still in the same spot. We need only to turn around.
7.08.2013
1.06.2013
A Tasteless Christianity
I woke up this morning with words pouring forth from my heart in a way that doesn't happen as frequently as I would like. I grabbed my notebook & started writing everything down that was coming to me. It was as if God was downloading the words & I was just waiting for the next, and the next, and the next...
I shouldn't be too surprised. I've felt it buried in my heart for some time now. This burden. This disheartened feeling in the depth of my spirit. This feeling of being alone even when I am with other Christians. Why, you might ask? Because there are times I wonder if I'm the only one who will stand for truth and righteousness. Let's face it. It doesn't win us any popularity contests. We won't appear "cool." We will be persecuted in some form. And sometimes, by those we think are closest to us. Jesus said as much. This "Christian" thing isn't easy. No, not in the least. And, maybe that's where my frustration & disappointment is rearing its head. I see many more believers who have professed Christ as their Lord & Savior now choosing to live like the world, than I do Christ followers who are willing to take up their cross and follow Him, in whatever capacity that may look like. It's easier. It's safe. It's comfortable. I would be lying if I said I haven't been tempted to do the same. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I don't have all the answers, nor do I have it all together. But, I know I'd rather not profess Christianity at all than to settle for this watered-down version that many believers have created. This watered-down Christianity that justifies sin for the sake of being politically correct or fear of appearing judgmental. We want to tip toe around certain issues because we're too afraid to address them boldly and with conviction.
A woman leaves her husband because she's in love with someone else and feels she deserves to be "happy." A boyfriend & girlfriend are living together & having sex before they're married because, well, it's really not that bad. A gay couple attends church Sunday after Sunday with no life change at all, and with no one even attempting to address the lifestyle choice they've made. Friends go out & get drunk every weekend to "escape" from reality. Someone we know wants to have an abortion because having the baby is "inconvenient" and it wasn't in her plan.
Please hear me out. I'm not talking about non-believers who are living in sin. We expect them to live this way. They haven't had a conversion experience or known the power of life change that Jesus brings. I'm simply referring to those within the Church who have professed Christ yet choose to live in such a way that completely denies the power of the Cross. I'm also certainly not advocating a "Pharisee" mentality where we expose sin at every turn but never love the person or take the time to invest in him or her. That would be the opposite of the message of the Cross as well. I'm talking about discipleship. Life change. Bearing fruit. Accountability.
Jesus was controversial. Even radical. He never condemned the person, but He always condemned the sin. We have opted to do neither. And in doing so, we have failed to make true disciples of Christ. Instead, there are more & more people falling away from the Lord, or not wanting any part of Christianity to begin with. Can we blame them? Who would want something that isn't any different from what they've already experienced? It would be like going to the most exquisite restaurant you've ever seen, expecting to taste something so divine, so different than anything you've ever had before. But instead, the waiter brings your meal and it's ordinary. Boring. Tasteless. Do you think you would ever return? The likelihood is slim to none.
That's what I imagine it to be like for the world when they witness so-called "Christians" who are living & doing the same things they are. There's nothing different. Nothing drawing them to desire this Jesus we speak of. Nothing.
I don't want to feel like a stranger among fellow believers. Actually, it frustrates me greatly. There's a problem if I do. But, I refuse to blend into the world in order to appease people or excuse sin. I want to love people & show Christ in a very real & transparent way. In a way that will leave them hungry to know this Jesus that I know. To make them hungry for something different. Hungry for the hope of a radically changed life that's only possible through the Cross. Isn't that the mandate Jesus gave to us? To go & make disciples of all men? It's nearly impossible to make disciples if our own lives don't reflect any true life change. The only thing we would succeed in doing is to leave a bad taste in their mouths. And, I certainly don't want to be the reason that person gets up, leaves and never returns. I want to be a part, even if it's small, in causing them to question why I'm different. But, that can only happen if my life actually is different.
I shouldn't be too surprised. I've felt it buried in my heart for some time now. This burden. This disheartened feeling in the depth of my spirit. This feeling of being alone even when I am with other Christians. Why, you might ask? Because there are times I wonder if I'm the only one who will stand for truth and righteousness. Let's face it. It doesn't win us any popularity contests. We won't appear "cool." We will be persecuted in some form. And sometimes, by those we think are closest to us. Jesus said as much. This "Christian" thing isn't easy. No, not in the least. And, maybe that's where my frustration & disappointment is rearing its head. I see many more believers who have professed Christ as their Lord & Savior now choosing to live like the world, than I do Christ followers who are willing to take up their cross and follow Him, in whatever capacity that may look like. It's easier. It's safe. It's comfortable. I would be lying if I said I haven't been tempted to do the same. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I don't have all the answers, nor do I have it all together. But, I know I'd rather not profess Christianity at all than to settle for this watered-down version that many believers have created. This watered-down Christianity that justifies sin for the sake of being politically correct or fear of appearing judgmental. We want to tip toe around certain issues because we're too afraid to address them boldly and with conviction.
A woman leaves her husband because she's in love with someone else and feels she deserves to be "happy." A boyfriend & girlfriend are living together & having sex before they're married because, well, it's really not that bad. A gay couple attends church Sunday after Sunday with no life change at all, and with no one even attempting to address the lifestyle choice they've made. Friends go out & get drunk every weekend to "escape" from reality. Someone we know wants to have an abortion because having the baby is "inconvenient" and it wasn't in her plan.
Please hear me out. I'm not talking about non-believers who are living in sin. We expect them to live this way. They haven't had a conversion experience or known the power of life change that Jesus brings. I'm simply referring to those within the Church who have professed Christ yet choose to live in such a way that completely denies the power of the Cross. I'm also certainly not advocating a "Pharisee" mentality where we expose sin at every turn but never love the person or take the time to invest in him or her. That would be the opposite of the message of the Cross as well. I'm talking about discipleship. Life change. Bearing fruit. Accountability.
Jesus was controversial. Even radical. He never condemned the person, but He always condemned the sin. We have opted to do neither. And in doing so, we have failed to make true disciples of Christ. Instead, there are more & more people falling away from the Lord, or not wanting any part of Christianity to begin with. Can we blame them? Who would want something that isn't any different from what they've already experienced? It would be like going to the most exquisite restaurant you've ever seen, expecting to taste something so divine, so different than anything you've ever had before. But instead, the waiter brings your meal and it's ordinary. Boring. Tasteless. Do you think you would ever return? The likelihood is slim to none.
That's what I imagine it to be like for the world when they witness so-called "Christians" who are living & doing the same things they are. There's nothing different. Nothing drawing them to desire this Jesus we speak of. Nothing.
I don't want to feel like a stranger among fellow believers. Actually, it frustrates me greatly. There's a problem if I do. But, I refuse to blend into the world in order to appease people or excuse sin. I want to love people & show Christ in a very real & transparent way. In a way that will leave them hungry to know this Jesus that I know. To make them hungry for something different. Hungry for the hope of a radically changed life that's only possible through the Cross. Isn't that the mandate Jesus gave to us? To go & make disciples of all men? It's nearly impossible to make disciples if our own lives don't reflect any true life change. The only thing we would succeed in doing is to leave a bad taste in their mouths. And, I certainly don't want to be the reason that person gets up, leaves and never returns. I want to be a part, even if it's small, in causing them to question why I'm different. But, that can only happen if my life actually is different.
10.19.2012
A Faith Walk
I woke up this morning with the story of Jesus walking on water clearly on my heart. It's not often that specific passages of scripture are blaring in my mind before I'm fully awake! But, I immediately knew why & what God was speaking to me. Faith. You know when you're in a season where God is asking you to step out in faith & "walk on water" with him? Yep, I'm there. And like me, you probably feel scared, unsure, & maybe even a little...crazy. That's how I envision Peter must have felt as Jesus was telling him to take that first step. The story goes like this: Jesus told his disciples to step out of the boat, in the middle of the water, as the waves & wind were raging all around them. No biggie, right? Peter's response to Jesus' request was, "Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." Jesus replied back with one word. "Come." I imagine Peter to have really been thinking, "Lord, you seriously want me to step out of this safe boat and possibly be hurt or even die!? Oh ok, sure." And Jesus, very matter of factly, says, "That's what I said. What are you waiting for? Come on!"
Peter & I would have been buddies. I'm sure of it. Because, I am Peter. I would have questioned, over analyzed the situation in my mind, and then come to a decision based on fear, not on faith. I'm often tempted to operate in doubt rather than in faith...more than I care to admit. It's just easier. Safer. It takes a lot more courage to step out of the boat and walk on the water than it does to stand still & do nothing. It takes courage to take the first step, not completely knowing what's ahead. But, I love that the story doesn't end there. Jesus didn't just leave Peter on his own. He calmed his fears, while challenging his faith. "Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" In His mercy, Jesus caught him, but in His loving way, challenged his doubt. Jesus does that with me often. I feel Him whispering to me, "Oh Steph, why are you doubting when I have made the road ahead so clear? Why not just choose to trust me & let go?" Instead, I doubt His voice & leading because I doubt my ability to hear & see correctly. I feel vulnerable & unsure, yet I know He's there to catch me, so why wouldn't I just take that risk?
God, help us to come when you say, "Come." Help us to have the courage to step out when you say, "Don't be afraid." Thank you that just as you did with Peter, you never leave us on our own. Even through the doubt & fear, You're still there. Waiting. May we choose to see You instead of the wind & waves. May we see clearly that there's too much waiting on the other side for us not to take that risk.
Peter & I would have been buddies. I'm sure of it. Because, I am Peter. I would have questioned, over analyzed the situation in my mind, and then come to a decision based on fear, not on faith. I'm often tempted to operate in doubt rather than in faith...more than I care to admit. It's just easier. Safer. It takes a lot more courage to step out of the boat and walk on the water than it does to stand still & do nothing. It takes courage to take the first step, not completely knowing what's ahead. But, I love that the story doesn't end there. Jesus didn't just leave Peter on his own. He calmed his fears, while challenging his faith. "Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" In His mercy, Jesus caught him, but in His loving way, challenged his doubt. Jesus does that with me often. I feel Him whispering to me, "Oh Steph, why are you doubting when I have made the road ahead so clear? Why not just choose to trust me & let go?" Instead, I doubt His voice & leading because I doubt my ability to hear & see correctly. I feel vulnerable & unsure, yet I know He's there to catch me, so why wouldn't I just take that risk?
God, help us to come when you say, "Come." Help us to have the courage to step out when you say, "Don't be afraid." Thank you that just as you did with Peter, you never leave us on our own. Even through the doubt & fear, You're still there. Waiting. May we choose to see You instead of the wind & waves. May we see clearly that there's too much waiting on the other side for us not to take that risk.
9.17.2012
The Faces of Worship
I've been thinking a lot about worship lately. What does it really look like? And, is there more than one way to worship? I believe the answer to that is absolutely, YES. But, what I mean by worship isn't the picture that most of you have in your head right now. The word "worship" normally implies that some type of music is involved. We go to church to...sing hymns or praise songs, right? While that is a part of the church experience, it isn't meant to be the whole experience. And, worship certainly isn't meant to stay inside the four walls of the "church."
I went through a season as a young Christian where I majorly struggled with the way my worship "looked." Sounds strange, I know. What I mean is that I would be standing during service singing my heart out, except, I didn't feel like my heart was truly there. I would look around and it seemed as though everyone else was totally engrossed in the music. If they were any more in the presence of Jesus, they might as well have been in heaven! And here I was, mouthing the words but not always feeling what was coming out. I thought something was truly wrong with me! Ever been there? Well, I've since had to learn that worship isn't a "feeling." Sure, we can definitely experience that high at times when we come into the presence of the Lord, BUT it doesn't always happen, and that's completely normal. Those feelings don't sustain our day to day walk with God. They're wonderful, but they're not meant to last. Worship is so much more than singing to the Lord on Sunday...or any other day of the week, for that matter. It's what our lives look like when people are watching, and...when they aren't. It is about the heart...the attitude of our hearts. We may not always "feel" it, but if we are doing what God asks & requires on a daily basis, that is worship. Will we get it wrong? Yep. Will we completely blow it? Probably. Is there grace for that? Absolutely.
When I think of the stories in the Bible of people who were on this same journey with God, I begin to think of worship a little differently. I read about Abraham being willing to sacrafice his only son that God PROMISED him (Genesis 22:1-19), and I see worship as surrender. Then, I read about the widow who had nothing, but still gave what she had (Mark 12:41-43), and I see worship as giving. I read the many parables that Jesus told about putting others before ourselves, and I see worship as loving people. Worship looks different than what we have imagined in our minds. It has many "faces." It isn't JUST about singing a few songs on Sunday morning. It's really living out the words that Jesus taught & modeled for us. I want my worship to encompass all of these things, and more. And for my heart to be engrossed daily in how I live, not just in what I say. That is true worship.
I went through a season as a young Christian where I majorly struggled with the way my worship "looked." Sounds strange, I know. What I mean is that I would be standing during service singing my heart out, except, I didn't feel like my heart was truly there. I would look around and it seemed as though everyone else was totally engrossed in the music. If they were any more in the presence of Jesus, they might as well have been in heaven! And here I was, mouthing the words but not always feeling what was coming out. I thought something was truly wrong with me! Ever been there? Well, I've since had to learn that worship isn't a "feeling." Sure, we can definitely experience that high at times when we come into the presence of the Lord, BUT it doesn't always happen, and that's completely normal. Those feelings don't sustain our day to day walk with God. They're wonderful, but they're not meant to last. Worship is so much more than singing to the Lord on Sunday...or any other day of the week, for that matter. It's what our lives look like when people are watching, and...when they aren't. It is about the heart...the attitude of our hearts. We may not always "feel" it, but if we are doing what God asks & requires on a daily basis, that is worship. Will we get it wrong? Yep. Will we completely blow it? Probably. Is there grace for that? Absolutely.
When I think of the stories in the Bible of people who were on this same journey with God, I begin to think of worship a little differently. I read about Abraham being willing to sacrafice his only son that God PROMISED him (Genesis 22:1-19), and I see worship as surrender. Then, I read about the widow who had nothing, but still gave what she had (Mark 12:41-43), and I see worship as giving. I read the many parables that Jesus told about putting others before ourselves, and I see worship as loving people. Worship looks different than what we have imagined in our minds. It has many "faces." It isn't JUST about singing a few songs on Sunday morning. It's really living out the words that Jesus taught & modeled for us. I want my worship to encompass all of these things, and more. And for my heart to be engrossed daily in how I live, not just in what I say. That is true worship.
8.27.2012
Mercies Anew
Mercy. It's been the topic of many books and songs. The Bible mentions it in great detail. And, it's the cry of every human being. At our very core, we are all desperate for mercy. We want to be fully known and accepted as we are, but struggle with the fear that if we are vulnerable and show our deepest disappointments and darkest places, we'll risk being rejected. That if we are raw and laid open, mercy might not be extended. Yet, there's something so different about the mercy of God. Something sweet. Something beautiful. And at the same time, difficult to fully grasp. To grasp even a portion of it requires faith. Faith that even though we may not feel it or believe we deserve it, it remains. It's steady and constant. It never changes based on our behavior or works. We can't do anything less or more that will alter the amount of mercy He pours out because...it never ends.
God's taken me on a journey the past couple years where I know that I know He wants me to "get" this. I mean, really get this. You know those places that are a constant struggle and to even talk about it with anyone requires a lot of courage because it's embarassing and frustrating? That's where I've been with this. I've been walking with the Lord for 14 years now. I should have a pretty decent grasp on the mercy of God, right? If only I could say, yes, I am fully aware that God has an unlimited supply of mercy for me! I know that to be truth, but if I were really honest, the problem is that I don't always believe it. I KNOW there's nothing I could do that would make God love me any more or less than he does right at this moment. But, even if it's locked inside of my head, it slips outside of my heart. His word says that "because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his mercies never fail. They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23). But God, don't you remember that stupid mistake I made yesterday or the unloving way I spoke to someone this morning? Don't you remember my past sins and mistakes, all 556,687 of them? No. The truth is, He doesn't. At all. Every single day the slate is wiped clean. The sole reason Jesus hung on that cross was so that we could be justified and live in His grace and love. I think it's human nature for us to be our own worst enemy at times. We want to keep punishing oursleves for our mistakes and shortcomings. We want to forget, but have a hard time letting go. When all the while, God is saying (screaming, at times)," I've forgotten it. Now, won't you?" It doesn't bring Him any glory when we aren't living in the fullness of His love and mercy. No, He is most glorified when we are reflecting His heart and nature.
I want, long for, His mercy to be washed over me every day. Every single morning. I need it more than my next breath. In fact, my next breath depends on it.
Lord, may your mercies be anew in every one of us and may we live with the truth and knowledge that You bestow grace & mercy on your sons & daughters not because of who we are or what we do or don't do, but because of who You are. And, may we in turn be able to show that same mercy to others as well as, ourselves.
God's taken me on a journey the past couple years where I know that I know He wants me to "get" this. I mean, really get this. You know those places that are a constant struggle and to even talk about it with anyone requires a lot of courage because it's embarassing and frustrating? That's where I've been with this. I've been walking with the Lord for 14 years now. I should have a pretty decent grasp on the mercy of God, right? If only I could say, yes, I am fully aware that God has an unlimited supply of mercy for me! I know that to be truth, but if I were really honest, the problem is that I don't always believe it. I KNOW there's nothing I could do that would make God love me any more or less than he does right at this moment. But, even if it's locked inside of my head, it slips outside of my heart. His word says that "because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his mercies never fail. They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23). But God, don't you remember that stupid mistake I made yesterday or the unloving way I spoke to someone this morning? Don't you remember my past sins and mistakes, all 556,687 of them? No. The truth is, He doesn't. At all. Every single day the slate is wiped clean. The sole reason Jesus hung on that cross was so that we could be justified and live in His grace and love. I think it's human nature for us to be our own worst enemy at times. We want to keep punishing oursleves for our mistakes and shortcomings. We want to forget, but have a hard time letting go. When all the while, God is saying (screaming, at times)," I've forgotten it. Now, won't you?" It doesn't bring Him any glory when we aren't living in the fullness of His love and mercy. No, He is most glorified when we are reflecting His heart and nature.
I want, long for, His mercy to be washed over me every day. Every single morning. I need it more than my next breath. In fact, my next breath depends on it.
Lord, may your mercies be anew in every one of us and may we live with the truth and knowledge that You bestow grace & mercy on your sons & daughters not because of who we are or what we do or don't do, but because of who You are. And, may we in turn be able to show that same mercy to others as well as, ourselves.
3.08.2012
Have a little faith.
God's been testing, I mean really testing, my level of faith these days. Until recently, I would have considered myself to have a decent "measure" of faith...as much as you can measure that. I mean, all we need is a mustard seed, right? But, I began to realize that while I have an almost unlimited amount of faith to believe God will do amazing works in other people's lives, I have a much more difficult time believing God will answer my own prayers, or satisfy the desires of my own heart. Why? "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." That's the honest reason. When you've been praying for the longings & dreams of your heart to become reality, and years & years go by without any sign of those prayers coming to fruition, it can be a struggle to hold on to hope. However, let me say, I know I'm not the only one waiting on prayers to be answered, or having doubts that they ever will be. It only feels that way at times.
Let's take a look at Thomas, for instance. I can relate to "doubting Thomas" more than any other person in the Bible. He needed proof. Proof that his Jesus was alive again. When the other disciples told him that they had seen the Lord, Thomas replied, "Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe" (John 20:25). No one was going to change his mind. He was willing to look crazy for his unwillingness to believe because he needed proof. Proof that a mortal man died on a cross and was raised to life three days later. (Pretty sure Thomas & I would have been friends). Jesus provided the proof he needed...eight days later. He could have come as soon as Thomas doubted the resurrection. But, He chose not to. Thomas had eight entire days to wrestle with the doubts in his mind. That's worth noting.
But then...Jesus came to his rescue.
"Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he spoke directly to Thomas. "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe. Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:26-28). It's also worth noting that before Jesus commanded him to believe, He spoke into every one of his doubts. I love that. He sympathizes with our weaknesses & knows that in our humanness, faith can seem unattainable at times.
But He also loves us enough to not allow us to give up. He's been challenging my faith even further lately by asking one question: "Are you in a place where you're ready to receive what I have for you?" Pretty simple question, right? Who wouldn't want to receive from the Lord!? Well...this girl has struggled majorly in that area. Feelings of unworthiness have caused me to doubt whether the Lord has better for my life. Lies I've believed that have overshadowed the truth of God's Word. But, my desire is not to stay in a place of unbelief. Thankfully, because of God's unyielding mercy, He wants more for my life than what I've perceived I'm worthy of. It's not about anything I can or can't do; it's all about His goodness.
What is it in your life that you're having a difficult time believing or maybe, receiving? What if, instead of believing for the "thing," we believed in the God who can do all things? That means we trust in the Lord enough to believe that HE knows our desires and HE knows how to best fulfill His plans in our lives. It's definitely not always easy to get to that place, but once there, it's a place I want to remain in.
Let's take a look at Thomas, for instance. I can relate to "doubting Thomas" more than any other person in the Bible. He needed proof. Proof that his Jesus was alive again. When the other disciples told him that they had seen the Lord, Thomas replied, "Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe" (John 20:25). No one was going to change his mind. He was willing to look crazy for his unwillingness to believe because he needed proof. Proof that a mortal man died on a cross and was raised to life three days later. (Pretty sure Thomas & I would have been friends). Jesus provided the proof he needed...eight days later. He could have come as soon as Thomas doubted the resurrection. But, He chose not to. Thomas had eight entire days to wrestle with the doubts in his mind. That's worth noting.
But then...Jesus came to his rescue.
"Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he spoke directly to Thomas. "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe. Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:26-28). It's also worth noting that before Jesus commanded him to believe, He spoke into every one of his doubts. I love that. He sympathizes with our weaknesses & knows that in our humanness, faith can seem unattainable at times.
But He also loves us enough to not allow us to give up. He's been challenging my faith even further lately by asking one question: "Are you in a place where you're ready to receive what I have for you?" Pretty simple question, right? Who wouldn't want to receive from the Lord!? Well...this girl has struggled majorly in that area. Feelings of unworthiness have caused me to doubt whether the Lord has better for my life. Lies I've believed that have overshadowed the truth of God's Word. But, my desire is not to stay in a place of unbelief. Thankfully, because of God's unyielding mercy, He wants more for my life than what I've perceived I'm worthy of. It's not about anything I can or can't do; it's all about His goodness.
What is it in your life that you're having a difficult time believing or maybe, receiving? What if, instead of believing for the "thing," we believed in the God who can do all things? That means we trust in the Lord enough to believe that HE knows our desires and HE knows how to best fulfill His plans in our lives. It's definitely not always easy to get to that place, but once there, it's a place I want to remain in.
12.21.2011
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?
We're almost there. Just a few more days until Christmas! Days of eating food we'll spend the next few weeks trying to work off, receiving presents we didn't want to buy ourselves, buying gifts for others we'll spend all year paying off, and spending time with family we don't see often. But, it's the most wonderful time of the year, right? (Disclaimer: I absolutely LOVE Christmas and promise this is not a cynical post. I really do have a point).
Despite overeating & overspending, most of us look forward to this season more than any other time of the year. And let's face it, some of us look forward to the overeating & overspending as well! There's so much anticipation and joy surrounding Christmas. The decorations, putting up the tree, the beautiful music, cooking & baking, finding that perfect gift for someone close to us, being surrounded by family & friends, and most of all, celebrating a man named Jesus that chose to come in infant form to rescue us from ourselves. It's the most amazing gift we could & will ever receive on this earth. And even if all the other wonderful things surrounding this season did not exist, that's reason enough to celebrate.
But, in the midst of the excitement & joy, I realize it's not so joyful for everyone. In reality, it's the most difficult time of year for some. Over the last few weeks, I've had a friend that lost a baby, another friend in the hospital, co-workers who have lost loved ones, & several who have lost jobs. All very difficult circumstances, but amidst the Christmas season, even more so. I had a heavy heart as I was praying about this recently. These are people I care about. Why are they being asked to walk through these trials? And, why now? Not the best timing, I would say. But, even more sobering, why not me? The answers to these questions are outside of my understanding, and the last thing I want is to sound like Scrooge (remember, I love Christmas & everything that goes along with it!). But I do want to help us look beyond ourselves to see the needs of others. There are people in your life, and mine, who need a little extra encouragement right now. Maybe they need monetary help. Maybe they need someone to hold them while they cry. Or, they might need Jesus.
I'm guilty of focusing too much on the gifts I need to buy, the cookies I need to bake, or the cards I need to send, that I forget Christmas is really about Christ. And part of that is being Christ to others in tangible ways. Love came in the form of a perfect child named Jesus so not only could we know a love unlike any other, but so we could also give it away. It is the most wonderful time of year simply for that reason.
I challenge each of us to look for ways to bless others this Christmas season. I promise, they're everywhere if we'll just take the time to notice.
Despite overeating & overspending, most of us look forward to this season more than any other time of the year. And let's face it, some of us look forward to the overeating & overspending as well! There's so much anticipation and joy surrounding Christmas. The decorations, putting up the tree, the beautiful music, cooking & baking, finding that perfect gift for someone close to us, being surrounded by family & friends, and most of all, celebrating a man named Jesus that chose to come in infant form to rescue us from ourselves. It's the most amazing gift we could & will ever receive on this earth. And even if all the other wonderful things surrounding this season did not exist, that's reason enough to celebrate.
But, in the midst of the excitement & joy, I realize it's not so joyful for everyone. In reality, it's the most difficult time of year for some. Over the last few weeks, I've had a friend that lost a baby, another friend in the hospital, co-workers who have lost loved ones, & several who have lost jobs. All very difficult circumstances, but amidst the Christmas season, even more so. I had a heavy heart as I was praying about this recently. These are people I care about. Why are they being asked to walk through these trials? And, why now? Not the best timing, I would say. But, even more sobering, why not me? The answers to these questions are outside of my understanding, and the last thing I want is to sound like Scrooge (remember, I love Christmas & everything that goes along with it!). But I do want to help us look beyond ourselves to see the needs of others. There are people in your life, and mine, who need a little extra encouragement right now. Maybe they need monetary help. Maybe they need someone to hold them while they cry. Or, they might need Jesus.
I'm guilty of focusing too much on the gifts I need to buy, the cookies I need to bake, or the cards I need to send, that I forget Christmas is really about Christ. And part of that is being Christ to others in tangible ways. Love came in the form of a perfect child named Jesus so not only could we know a love unlike any other, but so we could also give it away. It is the most wonderful time of year simply for that reason.
I challenge each of us to look for ways to bless others this Christmas season. I promise, they're everywhere if we'll just take the time to notice.
11.29.2011
Tis the Season!
It's Christmastime again, and I love it! I especially love finding the perfect gift for the people in my life. Makes me happy! And, if you're watching your pennies (like I am!), then you'll appreciate budget-friendly gift ideas. Here's a fantastic blog with 25 ideas for great, handmade gifts UNDER $5!! (There's even some great jewelry!)
Who doesn't love something that has had extra thought put into it?
http://www.the36thavenue.com/2011/11/25-handmade-gifts-under-5.html
Happy gift-giving!!
Who doesn't love something that has had extra thought put into it?
http://www.the36thavenue.com/2011/11/25-handmade-gifts-under-5.html
Happy gift-giving!!
11.07.2011
Sometimes, it's the small things...
I have major hair frustrations. No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to get it to look the way I want. But, I may have just found the answer to this seemingly small problem.
Thanks to Pinterest, I stumbled upon this blog that I LOVE...
http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com/
This girl has the BEST site I've found for the "how-to's" of great, trendy hairstyles for people like me who are apparently lacking skills in this area. Now, if only it doesn't take me hours to perfect AND I can get it to look like this...
Thanks to Pinterest, I stumbled upon this blog that I LOVE...
http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com/
This girl has the BEST site I've found for the "how-to's" of great, trendy hairstyles for people like me who are apparently lacking skills in this area. Now, if only it doesn't take me hours to perfect AND I can get it to look like this...
11.06.2011
What's Love Got To Do With It?
Disunity. Dissension. Division. Pride, jealously, hate. All are words with negative connotations, and sadly, all can be used to describe the Church today. You know, the group of people who call themselves Christ-followers and are supposed to be examples of unity and love to a world who desperately needs to see that lived out. Then, why aren't we? Why is it so difficult to love one another the way Jesus commanded us to? And, why does it seem we resemble the world more often than we do Christ?
I'm only asking these questions because this struggle is personal. This issue of "loving my neighbor" and being an example to those who I think aren't watching. Because they are. Sometimes, when I wish they weren't. I don't always live up to the standards by which God has called me to in this area. I blow it every day. In fact, in my own way, I've contributed to disunity in the Church. Dissension too. Division...yeah, that as well. More times than not, my own pride and selfishness keep me from fully loving people. You might be saying, "don't be so hard on yourself...we've all messed up...we're only human." And, you're right. God has far more grace allotted for me than I have for myself. But, His grace isn't a free pass. Instead, it should prompt me to strive to love others even more.
One of my very first prayers when I became a Christian was for authenticity. In my early years as a believer, I struggled with thinking I had to look, talk, act, & believe the same way my fellow Christian did. The one I thought had it all together. But, that's not truly being authentic. Nor is it glorifying to Him. We were made in His image, right? Not in one another's image. God has gifted each of us differently. He's given us different personalities, likes & dislikes, and yes, even convictions. And this is where our main issue with loving one another comes in. We think that if Joe Christian doesn't believe the same way we do, worship in the "right" way, or go to our denomination, then well, maybe he isn't as good as we are. Or as godly. But, do we really have the authority to determine that? No. Do we need to focus more on loving people in the place they're at? Yes.
I want to be the woman that God has made me to be. And, nothing less. Be the person God has made you to be. Be authentic. Follow the principles in the Word. Love the Lord. Love people. It won't be easy. God didn't promise it would be. But, it is attainable with His help. Love has everything to do with living the abundant life God has promised us. So, don't you think it's worth the fight?
I'm only asking these questions because this struggle is personal. This issue of "loving my neighbor" and being an example to those who I think aren't watching. Because they are. Sometimes, when I wish they weren't. I don't always live up to the standards by which God has called me to in this area. I blow it every day. In fact, in my own way, I've contributed to disunity in the Church. Dissension too. Division...yeah, that as well. More times than not, my own pride and selfishness keep me from fully loving people. You might be saying, "don't be so hard on yourself...we've all messed up...we're only human." And, you're right. God has far more grace allotted for me than I have for myself. But, His grace isn't a free pass. Instead, it should prompt me to strive to love others even more.
One of my very first prayers when I became a Christian was for authenticity. In my early years as a believer, I struggled with thinking I had to look, talk, act, & believe the same way my fellow Christian did. The one I thought had it all together. But, that's not truly being authentic. Nor is it glorifying to Him. We were made in His image, right? Not in one another's image. God has gifted each of us differently. He's given us different personalities, likes & dislikes, and yes, even convictions. And this is where our main issue with loving one another comes in. We think that if Joe Christian doesn't believe the same way we do, worship in the "right" way, or go to our denomination, then well, maybe he isn't as good as we are. Or as godly. But, do we really have the authority to determine that? No. Do we need to focus more on loving people in the place they're at? Yes.
I want to be the woman that God has made me to be. And, nothing less. Be the person God has made you to be. Be authentic. Follow the principles in the Word. Love the Lord. Love people. It won't be easy. God didn't promise it would be. But, it is attainable with His help. Love has everything to do with living the abundant life God has promised us. So, don't you think it's worth the fight?
9.05.2011
A Few Fall Favorites
It's September and according to me, officially Fall! I absolutely love this time of year. Seriously. Love. I mean, who wouldn't? The trees turning magnificent shades of color, the smell of firewood, cooler temps, specialty Starbucks drinks (my favs are the caramel apple cider & the pumpkin spice latte!) adorable fall decor, and amazing fashion! I could get used to that forever. In fact, I'm convinced that heaven will be a perpetual season of Fall...maybe for me at least.
The fashion choices are defintely my favorite out of all other seasons. I look forward to taking my sweaters out of storage and pulling on my boots...which are too many to count. Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? ;) There's just so many fun outfits, accessories, & layering you can put together! Here are just a few fashion favs (and some on my wish list)...
Love everything about this outfit! It's super easy & casual chic. The best part is, I already have everything to put this outfit together.
Anthropologie goodness. MUST have.
And, every girl's gotta have her boots. Here's a Steve Madden pair called "Ranchh" I've been eyeing lately...
I might be slightly obsessed with long cardis right now. They're so versatile! Love this one from the GAP.
And, what's a great outfit without great accessories? I really like the style of this J. Crew purse.
I'm also a jewelry fanatic. It can really pull an outfit together. I buy most of mine from Forever 21, simply because they have the best jewelry ever. Period. But, I would really like to get a few pieces from a local designer here in Nashville. Check out her blog! She's incredible. http://heavymetalbylw.blogspot.com/.
Here's one I gotta have at some point.
UH-mazing, no?
So, there you have it. These are just a few things that inspire me and get me super excited about Fall fashion!! Stay tuned for my next post which will feature outifts of my own to hopefully give you some ideas of your own! Happy Fall y'all!
The fashion choices are defintely my favorite out of all other seasons. I look forward to taking my sweaters out of storage and pulling on my boots...which are too many to count. Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? ;) There's just so many fun outfits, accessories, & layering you can put together! Here are just a few fashion favs (and some on my wish list)...
Love everything about this outfit! It's super easy & casual chic. The best part is, I already have everything to put this outfit together.
Anthropologie goodness. MUST have.
And, every girl's gotta have her boots. Here's a Steve Madden pair called "Ranchh" I've been eyeing lately...
I might be slightly obsessed with long cardis right now. They're so versatile! Love this one from the GAP.
And, what's a great outfit without great accessories? I really like the style of this J. Crew purse.
I'm also a jewelry fanatic. It can really pull an outfit together. I buy most of mine from Forever 21, simply because they have the best jewelry ever. Period. But, I would really like to get a few pieces from a local designer here in Nashville. Check out her blog! She's incredible. http://heavymetalbylw.blogspot.com/.
Here's one I gotta have at some point.
UH-mazing, no?
So, there you have it. These are just a few things that inspire me and get me super excited about Fall fashion!! Stay tuned for my next post which will feature outifts of my own to hopefully give you some ideas of your own! Happy Fall y'all!
8.04.2011
Wrinkle Cream, Spanx, & Botox
Those three words can only mean one thing for a woman. Getting old. Or in my case, entering another decade of my life. That's right, I'm turning 30 in two days...THIRTY! In two days. Oh wow. I remember thinking that was ridiculously old when I was a teenager. ( I know what some of you who are um, older, are thinking right now...) Still, it's a milestone birthday and one that up until now, I've had a little apprehension about. But alas, it IS approaching quickly and like it or not, it's happening.
So, how does one really prepare to say goodbye to her 20s and hello to her 30s? I hope it's not with the three (scary) words that make up the title of this blog. Because if so, I want to stay 29, please. All kidding aside (mostly), I AM looking forward to this new decade of my life. There's something about the thought of being in my thirties that already makes me feel a little wiser and a little more confident. Notice: I said a little. My 20s were, in many ways, a roller coaster ride of emotions. Many, MANY changes took place...some great, some not so much. Needless to say, I'm hoping & praying that there will be welcomed changes and more personal growth with the beginning of this new chapter.
So what, you may ask, HAVE I learned as I leave 29 behind and embrace 30? Well, I'm glad you asked...
Not to take myself so seriously. The more I laugh at myself, (and sometimes circumstances) the more I enjoy life!
How to be more comfortable in my own skin & with my appearance. (Disclaimer: I will continue going to the gym, however, to put off wearing Spanx as long as I can!)
That, in order to avoid the other scary words (aka: wrinkle cream & botox), I need to wear sunscreen!! Or, get spray tans.
That you don't have to figure out what your dream career is by the time you are 30. Sometimes it takes a little longer than that (and a little more perseverance).
To be grateful for every blessing, now matter how big or small it might be. There's always someone in greater need.
Giving is really the avenue to receiving God's favor.
Pour into those who are younger. They need it more than you, or they, think.
That sometimes (OK, EVERY time) waiting is God's way of protecting us & preparing us for His best.
I'm sure there's more, but those are what stick out in my mind. And, by the time the next decade rolls around (yikes!), I'm sure my list will be twice as long.
So, good-bye 20s! You've been good, but I'm moving on to great.
So, how does one really prepare to say goodbye to her 20s and hello to her 30s? I hope it's not with the three (scary) words that make up the title of this blog. Because if so, I want to stay 29, please. All kidding aside (mostly), I AM looking forward to this new decade of my life. There's something about the thought of being in my thirties that already makes me feel a little wiser and a little more confident. Notice: I said a little. My 20s were, in many ways, a roller coaster ride of emotions. Many, MANY changes took place...some great, some not so much. Needless to say, I'm hoping & praying that there will be welcomed changes and more personal growth with the beginning of this new chapter.
So what, you may ask, HAVE I learned as I leave 29 behind and embrace 30? Well, I'm glad you asked...
Not to take myself so seriously. The more I laugh at myself, (and sometimes circumstances) the more I enjoy life!
How to be more comfortable in my own skin & with my appearance. (Disclaimer: I will continue going to the gym, however, to put off wearing Spanx as long as I can!)
That, in order to avoid the other scary words (aka: wrinkle cream & botox), I need to wear sunscreen!! Or, get spray tans.
That you don't have to figure out what your dream career is by the time you are 30. Sometimes it takes a little longer than that (and a little more perseverance).
To be grateful for every blessing, now matter how big or small it might be. There's always someone in greater need.
Giving is really the avenue to receiving God's favor.
Pour into those who are younger. They need it more than you, or they, think.
That sometimes (OK, EVERY time) waiting is God's way of protecting us & preparing us for His best.
I'm sure there's more, but those are what stick out in my mind. And, by the time the next decade rolls around (yikes!), I'm sure my list will be twice as long.
So, good-bye 20s! You've been good, but I'm moving on to great.
7.21.2011
Beautiful by Mercy Me
This is such an encouraging song for anyone who struggles with feeling beautiful...on the inside or outside! Be blessed.
6.08.2011
Childhood Dreams
Do you remember when you were little and you dreamt of one day becoming a ballerina or, if you're a guy, maybe a cowboy? Playing make-believe in your living room, dressing up, and actually believing that you were whatever you decided to be that day. I think most five year olds' dreams are limitless. They know that nothing is out of reach. Then, twenty years later, life happens. You grow up. And you realize that maybe it isn't as easy as it was when you were five. Maybe, somewhere along the way, those dreams got so tangled up in reality that you don't even know what your dream is anymore. And you just wish you could go back to being five.
Sound familiar? It is for me.
I think growing up I had a lot of "dreams" that I wanted to see fulfilled, but never really knew that one thing that I was called to do as far as a career goes. I'm the girl that has many passions but doesn't know how those translate into the real world. I like writing and fashion and being creative and photography; and I have a heart for the homeless and for marriage ministry and women's ministry and...the list could go on. I get so overwhelmed at all the directions I want or could go that I end up standing still. In fact, I'm in a season right now where I'm doing just that. Not moving. Stuck in a place I never thought I'd be. Partly because I chose it based on decisions I made in the past. And partly, because the Lord is teaching me lessons through it. Pretty valuable lessons at that. But, I know that, at some point, I have to get up and move again. I was put here for very specific purposes, some of which have yet to be fulfilled. And I know as long as I'm breathing, God isn't through using me.
I only know a handful of people who are truly living out their "dream." And, I envy them. I need to learn from them. They are the ones who get up every day with purpose and intention in their hearts. I would venture to say though, that sadly, the majority of people fall into the other category. The ones still searching for their childhood dreams. Who desire to do something that has purpose and passion behind it, but don't know how to step out.
Lord, show us how to have child-like faith and give us grown-up courage to step out and fulfill the dreams You've put in our hearts. As if we were five again.
Sound familiar? It is for me.
I think growing up I had a lot of "dreams" that I wanted to see fulfilled, but never really knew that one thing that I was called to do as far as a career goes. I'm the girl that has many passions but doesn't know how those translate into the real world. I like writing and fashion and being creative and photography; and I have a heart for the homeless and for marriage ministry and women's ministry and...the list could go on. I get so overwhelmed at all the directions I want or could go that I end up standing still. In fact, I'm in a season right now where I'm doing just that. Not moving. Stuck in a place I never thought I'd be. Partly because I chose it based on decisions I made in the past. And partly, because the Lord is teaching me lessons through it. Pretty valuable lessons at that. But, I know that, at some point, I have to get up and move again. I was put here for very specific purposes, some of which have yet to be fulfilled. And I know as long as I'm breathing, God isn't through using me.
I only know a handful of people who are truly living out their "dream." And, I envy them. I need to learn from them. They are the ones who get up every day with purpose and intention in their hearts. I would venture to say though, that sadly, the majority of people fall into the other category. The ones still searching for their childhood dreams. Who desire to do something that has purpose and passion behind it, but don't know how to step out.
Lord, show us how to have child-like faith and give us grown-up courage to step out and fulfill the dreams You've put in our hearts. As if we were five again.
4.20.2011
Better than the Last
This is a big year for me. I'm turning...30. Yikes. It should be scary, but it's more surreal than anything. I was only 20 yesterday, right? Where has the last decade gone? Seriously. The other night, I was watching a Friends episode (big surprise, huh?) where Rachel was turning 30 & not handling it with a lot of grace. The group tried to console her by recalling their own bad experiences from when they turned 30. While funny, it only made her less ready to leave her twenties. All she could focus on was the fact that she hadn't accomplished anything she wanted to. She hadn't gotten married, had kids, achieved all of her career goals...sound familiar? Are there things in your life that you haven't seen come to pass? Maybe things that you thought would have happened by now. I know that's definitely true for me.
Recently, it seemed that a couple of major things that I've been waiting on were actually beginning to come to fruition. It was exciting...until I realized that they were in fact, not. I think what was more disappointing than those "particular" circumstances not working out, was the fact that I thought they were going to. Ever been there? Maybe you didn't get a job you were hoping for, a big promotion at work, or perhaps, something even bigger. I'm very familiar with being in that place. Now, I have to choose to either keep moving forward and believe that God has even better plans in store for my life or give up on my dreams because of discouragement. The logical and right choice is the first. But it seems that, at times, the easier choice is the latter. Why? Because it's always easier to choose defeat rather than victory. Victory takes work, a lot of prayer, and it most certainly doesn't choose us. Yes, Christ died to give us victory, but we have to grab hold of it. We have to choose it. We have a choice every day to believe that God desires the best for us and we're on a journey toward that. Even when it appears that the opposite is true and that our journey has taken many detours. Sometimes more than we'd like!
I don't know what this next decade will look like for me, but I want it to be better than the last. And, I know that I can determine that in part. And the rest, I have to entrust with the Lord. So, here's praying and believing that my thirties will be better, so much better, than my twenties!
Recently, it seemed that a couple of major things that I've been waiting on were actually beginning to come to fruition. It was exciting...until I realized that they were in fact, not. I think what was more disappointing than those "particular" circumstances not working out, was the fact that I thought they were going to. Ever been there? Maybe you didn't get a job you were hoping for, a big promotion at work, or perhaps, something even bigger. I'm very familiar with being in that place. Now, I have to choose to either keep moving forward and believe that God has even better plans in store for my life or give up on my dreams because of discouragement. The logical and right choice is the first. But it seems that, at times, the easier choice is the latter. Why? Because it's always easier to choose defeat rather than victory. Victory takes work, a lot of prayer, and it most certainly doesn't choose us. Yes, Christ died to give us victory, but we have to grab hold of it. We have to choose it. We have a choice every day to believe that God desires the best for us and we're on a journey toward that. Even when it appears that the opposite is true and that our journey has taken many detours. Sometimes more than we'd like!
I don't know what this next decade will look like for me, but I want it to be better than the last. And, I know that I can determine that in part. And the rest, I have to entrust with the Lord. So, here's praying and believing that my thirties will be better, so much better, than my twenties!
3.11.2011
The Girl in the Mirror
She stands looking in the mirror. Stares, really. Not in a "I look so beautiful" kind of way. Instead, she scrutinizes every little detail about herself. From the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, there's something she would change. She's not tall enough, not small enough, not as pretty as the next girl, not how she would choose to be. There are times when she feels invisible. And other times when she wishes she were. I've been that girl.
I recently went to see the third Chronicles of Narnia movie. I am a huge fan of the movies, not only for the stories and amazing effects, but also for the spiritual application they bring. This one was no exception. There's one scene in particular that has really stuck with me. The youngest, Lucy, comes across a book of wishes and suddenly realizes that she can have the one thing she wants more than anything: to be beautiful like her sister Susan. She rips the page out of the book & tucks it in her pocket. Later that evening, she pulls out the piece of paper & begins to recite the words on it. As she looks in the full-length mirror, she sees herself transform into a beautiful, grown-up woman, in effect becoming Susan. She then gets a glimpse of what her life would have been like as her sister. She finds out that Narnia would have never existed if that were the case. Almost immediately after her vision, Aslan (who is representative of the Lord) appears in her room. At that point, Lucy realizes that to desire to be like Susan would be wishing away her own life. Aslan reminds her that her value is priceless and that she should not compare herself to others.
That impacted me. I can really relate to Lucy. Really. This has been a battle for me for many years, and at the root of it, is comparison and self-criticism. It's so easy to look at others and wonder why I don't have this or that. Or worse, to pick apart the little things about myself I wish I could change. Why do I waste my time doing that? The verse at the top of my blog about being fearfully & wonderfully made? I believe that most of the time. And when I don't, I'm focused on the wrong things & not on the truth that God tells me in His word. That is the standard I should be judging myself by. Not the world's standards. As I've gotten older & grown in my relationship with the Lord, this has become less of a struggle. There's something about both of those things that have strengthened my confidence. But, it has definitely been a journey for me!
Maybe you have a similar struggle? I would just encourage you that when those insecurities start to come on you (and they will), give them over to the Lord. Allow HIM to show you & tell you who you are in HIM. And, He will if you surrender. We're all made in the image of God and made so uniquely. No two people were created alike because God didn't choose to design us that way. He wants us to compliment one another with the strengths and weaknesses we have. There is beauty in that.
I recently went to see the third Chronicles of Narnia movie. I am a huge fan of the movies, not only for the stories and amazing effects, but also for the spiritual application they bring. This one was no exception. There's one scene in particular that has really stuck with me. The youngest, Lucy, comes across a book of wishes and suddenly realizes that she can have the one thing she wants more than anything: to be beautiful like her sister Susan. She rips the page out of the book & tucks it in her pocket. Later that evening, she pulls out the piece of paper & begins to recite the words on it. As she looks in the full-length mirror, she sees herself transform into a beautiful, grown-up woman, in effect becoming Susan. She then gets a glimpse of what her life would have been like as her sister. She finds out that Narnia would have never existed if that were the case. Almost immediately after her vision, Aslan (who is representative of the Lord) appears in her room. At that point, Lucy realizes that to desire to be like Susan would be wishing away her own life. Aslan reminds her that her value is priceless and that she should not compare herself to others.
That impacted me. I can really relate to Lucy. Really. This has been a battle for me for many years, and at the root of it, is comparison and self-criticism. It's so easy to look at others and wonder why I don't have this or that. Or worse, to pick apart the little things about myself I wish I could change. Why do I waste my time doing that? The verse at the top of my blog about being fearfully & wonderfully made? I believe that most of the time. And when I don't, I'm focused on the wrong things & not on the truth that God tells me in His word. That is the standard I should be judging myself by. Not the world's standards. As I've gotten older & grown in my relationship with the Lord, this has become less of a struggle. There's something about both of those things that have strengthened my confidence. But, it has definitely been a journey for me!
Maybe you have a similar struggle? I would just encourage you that when those insecurities start to come on you (and they will), give them over to the Lord. Allow HIM to show you & tell you who you are in HIM. And, He will if you surrender. We're all made in the image of God and made so uniquely. No two people were created alike because God didn't choose to design us that way. He wants us to compliment one another with the strengths and weaknesses we have. There is beauty in that.
1.15.2011
The View from the Waiting Room
January 15, 2011
The Waiting Room Series: The View from the Waiting Room
By: Katie Snyder
I've known Katie for what seems like all my life. In reality, it's been almost twelve years. She's one of the funniest, most talented, women of God I know. We've walked through some really tough seasons of life together, and also, some pretty great ones. I love her like a sister and even though I don't get to see her as often as I used to, we always pick up where we left off. This is one of her best blog posts I've read, so I know you're going to be encouraged and blessed after reading it.
I was in an actual waiting room the other day. It was uncomfortable. Most everyone was trying to appear to be preoccupied. Texting, reading, staring at the muted TV. I was watching everyone – which meant eyes darting to and fro, bodies leaning away from me in unnatural positions – I’m sure I was a little off-putting what with my notepad dead pan stares.
Every waiting room has its stereotypes, the annoying girl on the phone, spilling the nothings about her life so loudly just to let everyone know how important she is. The woman trying to tame her child as he runs all around the room shouting, “Bang, bang, bang!” and leaving the snotty contagious disease in his wake. The frail old woman nestled in her chair, barricaded in by her walker, taking a little morning snooze, who is seated next to her loving daughter who dotes on and coddles her gently and lovingly. The middle-aged, tubby man with his glasses on the tip of his nose with the newspaper caging him in from the rest of the room. I know you all have it pictured in your mind now – you see it so clearly, don’t you?
Do you know what I saw, though? I saw the glittering ring on that annoying girl’s finger, a girl at least 8 years younger than me, and I listened to her “nothings” about the dream wedding she was planning. I saw a mom, lovingly teaching and guiding her child, a child she had probably long awaited, joyfully expected, and loved with a love that no word could ever describe. I saw a woman, who had lived a long full life, who had raised her daughter in the way that she should go and was now resting in the safety of it. I saw a man, who just moments before that newspaper went up, had kissed his wife and stroked her face and told her that everything would be okay as she went into the examining room. I saw relationship all around me and there I was, just an observer, just a quiet little fly on the wall, taking it all in.
I am thirty years old. I am confident, independent, and steady. I am wise, candid, and have integrity. I love Jesus and I love His people. I am compassionate, sensible, and joyful. I love fiercely and passionately. I am faithful and loyal and quick to forgive. I have been through a lot of hard places in life and I know what it means, to the very core of my spirit, to choose that God is good all the time, no matter what my eyes see, my mind perceives, or my heart feels. I have been pruned, and cut down, and dug up, and replanted and pruned again…countless times. And I love God all the more for all of that gardening because I will never fail to bear good fruit now.
I am single. I have no children. I am in the waiting room. It is uncomfortable here. I distract myself with many things – friendships, TV, reading, movies – to make it through the wait. I often get caught up in what I’m doing and forget just how long I’ve been here, how lonely I really am. But then, I catch a glimpse of the clock and the ticking echoes so loudly in my head it’s almost deafening. I get impatient and pace the floor, I look out of the window, I watch all of the other people come and go from the waiting room and wonder when it will be my turn. My name has been called a few times, just for questioning, for clarification, but never to go back for real. Sometimes, I want to tell the receptionist to just cancel my appointment, I’ve got other things to do than just wait around here the rest of my life. Sometimes, I’m that girl on the phone; I just want someone to listen to my life. Someone to witness my life. Someone to share my life. Someone that will make my life seem important.
A few years ago, the Lord challenged me, “Katie, if you never marry, if you are never called “Mommy,” will you still choose me? Will I be enough?” I cried and mourned for a very long time that afternoon while the Lord patiently, lovingly waited for me to reply. My reply, of course, was yes. He’s a way maker. He makes a way when there seems to be no way. If I’m called to singleness, He’ll change my heart. But for right now, I have to practice what I preach. I can’t just say, “The Lord is enough,” I have to live my life in a way that shouts, “The Lord is enough for me…He’s all I need!!!!” I believe this most days, I struggle on others – but my struggling doesn’t change that He’s still enough – He’s who He says He is, even when I’m not who I say I am.
I struggle with feeling I’m unseen. I struggle that I know a lot of Godly men, some of whom have even told me point blank, “If I were looking for a wife, you are exactly what I’d look for,” and then they have listed out all of my attributes that make me a good choice for a wife…but even they don’t SEE me as anything but a sister, a friend, a confident, a source of Godly wisdom and counsel. I am unseen, veiled, and though this makes me set apart, as I should be, sometimes, I just want to yank that veil off and scream, “Pick me, you moron, I’m right here!”
But…for now, I’m going to stay in the waiting room. It’s hot and cramped and if I’m not careful…I could pick up something that makes me sick. I grow weary and impatient a lot of the time. I have to work hard to silence the incessant ticking of that ever tocking clock. I have purposed that I’m going to observe the life all around me and rejoice for those whose names are called. But, in my heart, I just await the day when the door creaks open, a chart is yanked off the wall, and my name is called out… “Katie, he’ll see you now.”
By: Katie Snyder
Location: Citrus Heights, CA
Blog: http://www.aglimpseatthislife.wordpress.com
The Waiting Room Series: The View from the Waiting Room
By: Katie Snyder
I've known Katie for what seems like all my life. In reality, it's been almost twelve years. She's one of the funniest, most talented, women of God I know. We've walked through some really tough seasons of life together, and also, some pretty great ones. I love her like a sister and even though I don't get to see her as often as I used to, we always pick up where we left off. This is one of her best blog posts I've read, so I know you're going to be encouraged and blessed after reading it.
I was in an actual waiting room the other day. It was uncomfortable. Most everyone was trying to appear to be preoccupied. Texting, reading, staring at the muted TV. I was watching everyone – which meant eyes darting to and fro, bodies leaning away from me in unnatural positions – I’m sure I was a little off-putting what with my notepad dead pan stares.
Every waiting room has its stereotypes, the annoying girl on the phone, spilling the nothings about her life so loudly just to let everyone know how important she is. The woman trying to tame her child as he runs all around the room shouting, “Bang, bang, bang!” and leaving the snotty contagious disease in his wake. The frail old woman nestled in her chair, barricaded in by her walker, taking a little morning snooze, who is seated next to her loving daughter who dotes on and coddles her gently and lovingly. The middle-aged, tubby man with his glasses on the tip of his nose with the newspaper caging him in from the rest of the room. I know you all have it pictured in your mind now – you see it so clearly, don’t you?
Do you know what I saw, though? I saw the glittering ring on that annoying girl’s finger, a girl at least 8 years younger than me, and I listened to her “nothings” about the dream wedding she was planning. I saw a mom, lovingly teaching and guiding her child, a child she had probably long awaited, joyfully expected, and loved with a love that no word could ever describe. I saw a woman, who had lived a long full life, who had raised her daughter in the way that she should go and was now resting in the safety of it. I saw a man, who just moments before that newspaper went up, had kissed his wife and stroked her face and told her that everything would be okay as she went into the examining room. I saw relationship all around me and there I was, just an observer, just a quiet little fly on the wall, taking it all in.
I am thirty years old. I am confident, independent, and steady. I am wise, candid, and have integrity. I love Jesus and I love His people. I am compassionate, sensible, and joyful. I love fiercely and passionately. I am faithful and loyal and quick to forgive. I have been through a lot of hard places in life and I know what it means, to the very core of my spirit, to choose that God is good all the time, no matter what my eyes see, my mind perceives, or my heart feels. I have been pruned, and cut down, and dug up, and replanted and pruned again…countless times. And I love God all the more for all of that gardening because I will never fail to bear good fruit now.
I am single. I have no children. I am in the waiting room. It is uncomfortable here. I distract myself with many things – friendships, TV, reading, movies – to make it through the wait. I often get caught up in what I’m doing and forget just how long I’ve been here, how lonely I really am. But then, I catch a glimpse of the clock and the ticking echoes so loudly in my head it’s almost deafening. I get impatient and pace the floor, I look out of the window, I watch all of the other people come and go from the waiting room and wonder when it will be my turn. My name has been called a few times, just for questioning, for clarification, but never to go back for real. Sometimes, I want to tell the receptionist to just cancel my appointment, I’ve got other things to do than just wait around here the rest of my life. Sometimes, I’m that girl on the phone; I just want someone to listen to my life. Someone to witness my life. Someone to share my life. Someone that will make my life seem important.
A few years ago, the Lord challenged me, “Katie, if you never marry, if you are never called “Mommy,” will you still choose me? Will I be enough?” I cried and mourned for a very long time that afternoon while the Lord patiently, lovingly waited for me to reply. My reply, of course, was yes. He’s a way maker. He makes a way when there seems to be no way. If I’m called to singleness, He’ll change my heart. But for right now, I have to practice what I preach. I can’t just say, “The Lord is enough,” I have to live my life in a way that shouts, “The Lord is enough for me…He’s all I need!!!!” I believe this most days, I struggle on others – but my struggling doesn’t change that He’s still enough – He’s who He says He is, even when I’m not who I say I am.
I struggle with feeling I’m unseen. I struggle that I know a lot of Godly men, some of whom have even told me point blank, “If I were looking for a wife, you are exactly what I’d look for,” and then they have listed out all of my attributes that make me a good choice for a wife…but even they don’t SEE me as anything but a sister, a friend, a confident, a source of Godly wisdom and counsel. I am unseen, veiled, and though this makes me set apart, as I should be, sometimes, I just want to yank that veil off and scream, “Pick me, you moron, I’m right here!”
But…for now, I’m going to stay in the waiting room. It’s hot and cramped and if I’m not careful…I could pick up something that makes me sick. I grow weary and impatient a lot of the time. I have to work hard to silence the incessant ticking of that ever tocking clock. I have purposed that I’m going to observe the life all around me and rejoice for those whose names are called. But, in my heart, I just await the day when the door creaks open, a chart is yanked off the wall, and my name is called out… “Katie, he’ll see you now.”
By: Katie Snyder
Location: Citrus Heights, CA
Blog: http://www.aglimpseatthislife.wordpress.com
1.11.2011
Love is a Choice
January 11, 2011
The Waiting Room: Love is a Choice
By: Maegan Roper
Maegan and I met at work a couple years ago and instantly hit it off. She truly is one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met, and that goes a long way in my book. She has shared wisdom & insight that is invaluable and I can honestly say that she is one of the most Spirit-filled women my age that I have ever met. I hope you enjoy this bit of wisdom & encouragement as much as I did...and leave her some blog love! :)
One can only watch so many romantic comedies or chic flicks before you start believing them. I partially blame my over-indulgent in fairy tale romance day-dreaming on some of those cheesy movies, but largely in part for my misunderstanding of what God's purpose/plan for the marriage relationship really is.
When I was in college, I got involved in a destructive, unhealthy relationship... with a youth leader and seminary student, nonetheless. But, we both were out for self-satisfaction and that seemed to always win in the battles we faced between the spirit and our flesh. My college & career minister at the time asked me a question I'll never forget: "Maegan, can you glorify God more with or without this person?" Knowing the answer in my heart, I started then seeking God wholeheartedly and asking Him to transform my perspective on relationships/marriage. Then, about 3 years later... my husband came along :)
I cherish those 3 years in between beyond explanation. God revealed Himself to me in ways that forever changed me and prepared me for the day I would meet my husband, Jeremy. Knowing and experiencing that solitude is vitally important (in my opinion). Even Adam knew and experienced that solitude in the garden before Eve came along :)
In that period, God confirmed that the response of faith for me was to see singleness as a committed life and not a lonely one. The moment that became content with my heart was the moment my Father took me by surprise by bringing Jeremy into my life. We married in 2006 and since has been a journey of intense joy, love, compassion, and adventure, but also tough struggles, mistakes, and constant change. Something I learned within our first year as husband & wife that has been a valuable reminder is that love is a choice. Everyday, regardless of how I "feel" or what mood I'm in, I wake up and choose to love my husband. Yes, I always want to and do not in anyway see it as a "chore"; however, most days it's a self conscience decision to pour my heart into loving Him as Christ loves me (Matt. 19:6).
God clearly intended transparency & openness as part of His plan for the marriage relationship- vulnerability without shame (Gen. 2:25). So, this is a lesson that has helped me on the hard days when I just seem to want the Drew Barrymore "Ever After" ending :) I realized early on that the self-sacrificing "Agape" kind of love that Jesus asked from Peter is the same that He desires from me and my marriage. The kind that is an act of will and not emotions (1 Cor. 13:4-8). Agape love is unselfish, undemanding, realizes the value of the one they're loving, recognizes responsibility, continually grows, never fades & is pure (1 Cor.13:12-13).
When all aspects of this Christ-like love find expression in marriage "the house will be built, established, and filled with precious & pleasant riches." (Prov. 14:1, 24:3-4). So, whether your singleness is temporary or permanent, there is an Agape love to experience now...in the arms of Christ!
By: Maegan Roper
Location: Nashville, TN
Blog: http://maeganroper.blogspot.com/
The Waiting Room: Love is a Choice
By: Maegan Roper
Maegan and I met at work a couple years ago and instantly hit it off. She truly is one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met, and that goes a long way in my book. She has shared wisdom & insight that is invaluable and I can honestly say that she is one of the most Spirit-filled women my age that I have ever met. I hope you enjoy this bit of wisdom & encouragement as much as I did...and leave her some blog love! :)
One can only watch so many romantic comedies or chic flicks before you start believing them. I partially blame my over-indulgent in fairy tale romance day-dreaming on some of those cheesy movies, but largely in part for my misunderstanding of what God's purpose/plan for the marriage relationship really is.
When I was in college, I got involved in a destructive, unhealthy relationship... with a youth leader and seminary student, nonetheless. But, we both were out for self-satisfaction and that seemed to always win in the battles we faced between the spirit and our flesh. My college & career minister at the time asked me a question I'll never forget: "Maegan, can you glorify God more with or without this person?" Knowing the answer in my heart, I started then seeking God wholeheartedly and asking Him to transform my perspective on relationships/marriage. Then, about 3 years later... my husband came along :)
I cherish those 3 years in between beyond explanation. God revealed Himself to me in ways that forever changed me and prepared me for the day I would meet my husband, Jeremy. Knowing and experiencing that solitude is vitally important (in my opinion). Even Adam knew and experienced that solitude in the garden before Eve came along :)
In that period, God confirmed that the response of faith for me was to see singleness as a committed life and not a lonely one. The moment that became content with my heart was the moment my Father took me by surprise by bringing Jeremy into my life. We married in 2006 and since has been a journey of intense joy, love, compassion, and adventure, but also tough struggles, mistakes, and constant change. Something I learned within our first year as husband & wife that has been a valuable reminder is that love is a choice. Everyday, regardless of how I "feel" or what mood I'm in, I wake up and choose to love my husband. Yes, I always want to and do not in anyway see it as a "chore"; however, most days it's a self conscience decision to pour my heart into loving Him as Christ loves me (Matt. 19:6).
God clearly intended transparency & openness as part of His plan for the marriage relationship- vulnerability without shame (Gen. 2:25). So, this is a lesson that has helped me on the hard days when I just seem to want the Drew Barrymore "Ever After" ending :) I realized early on that the self-sacrificing "Agape" kind of love that Jesus asked from Peter is the same that He desires from me and my marriage. The kind that is an act of will and not emotions (1 Cor. 13:4-8). Agape love is unselfish, undemanding, realizes the value of the one they're loving, recognizes responsibility, continually grows, never fades & is pure (1 Cor.13:12-13).
When all aspects of this Christ-like love find expression in marriage "the house will be built, established, and filled with precious & pleasant riches." (Prov. 14:1, 24:3-4). So, whether your singleness is temporary or permanent, there is an Agape love to experience now...in the arms of Christ!
By: Maegan Roper
Location: Nashville, TN
Blog: http://maeganroper.blogspot.com/
12.30.2010
Suddenlies...
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The Waiting Room: A Suddenly Around the Corner
By: Destiny Vandeput
Being alone just wasn’t something I was interested in.
I was that girl that always had a boyfriend and thrived off of all the drama that it would entail. I loved the attention and the activity; I loved the dates and I even enjoyed the fights.
The concept of a waiting room was not anywhere on my radar, I was having fun! Right?
Yet, even in all my “fun” of playing the field I was depressed, sad, constantly struggled with thoughts of suicide and above all else I viewed myself as someone who could never be fully loved for who I was. I was a dark person.
But for Jesus.
Isn’t that the phrase that has saved us all from a life of misery, depression and pain?
When I was 20 I had a radical encounter with Jesus that shook me to the core and forever changed my DNA. This girl who thought herself as too rough around the edges to ever be loved, all of a sudden was overwhelmed with the thick, ever encompassing love of Jesus that filled every crevice and left no area unaffected.
My life of sexual immorality had been washed in the blood of Jesus and I was healed; healed in places I didn’t even know I was wounded.
I left my old life and knew I never wanted to go back. I never wanted to be that dark person again.
Oddly enough God had a crazy plan for my life that would consist of meeting the man that was meant to be my husband the same month that began my transformation with God. He saw me at my darkest and lowest points and he saw me through my victories and breakthroughs. He saw me going through deliverance and inner healing. He saw me sobbing with snot coming in streams down my face; he saw me vomiting because my very body was rebelling against exposing and working through the pain of my own life. He saw my dark and then he saw my light and he loved me.
So my story of waiting is a little odd.
God transformed me at a school in Cyprus called Gateways Beyond and when I left that school I was an entirely different person, but I was also in love.
Do you know how confusing that was?
I was convinced that God would put me through a LONG period of singleness because I needed to pay some major penance for all my immorality, right? Because that’s so God who delights in punishing us for our mistakes? No. I should have known immediately that God had something different in store for me.
Within a year and a half of getting saved and meeting Jonathan, we were married. I don’t want to get into it all here, but if you are interested in reading our ENTIRE love story, you can do so HERE. But the main point is that God brought him into my life at ground zero, before I could construct walls, before I could block him out of certain areas. He and I began at my most vulnerable point and God knew that was what I needed to go into a marriage.
So there I was: the girl who had always been told she would always be too much for any man; that no one could truly love because her personality was too strong; God brought the perfect man for me. A strong, European man who was passionately in love with God, who challenges me and leads our marriage. Who encourages me to run hard after God and the things He has placed in my heart. Who has given me the gift of motherhood to the most beautiful little girl, the cutest little boy and another little boy on the way. Who has led us on an adventure that has landed us in another country contending for the Heavens to open over a region. And all of this in the last 5 years!
I’m living the life I never thought I wanted, but now know is everything I was meant to live and more.
You never know what can happen in your life and at what moment.
God works in suddenlies.
Literally one month I was partying, doing drugs and living a life of sexual immorality and the NEXT MONTH I had been radically changed. The next year I was married. The year after that I was a mother.
If there is one thing that I have experienced and am learning to embrace is that life changes quickly.
What may seem like an eternity waiting could be over in a blink of an eye.
So I guess that’s my encouragement to those in the Waiting Room. Trusting God and knowing that He has your very best in mind and that that very best may be the exact opposite of what you had in mind. That the life you are leading today may look entirely different than the life you will live a year from now.
The hardest part of waiting is being okay with that. Embracing the roller coaster that is our lives and saying, YES to the plans and purposes of a higher calling.
A grateful heart prepares the way for the Lord, yet you can be grateful for the rollercoaster ride the Lord is leading you on, but emotions are still a choice. You can hold on tight, knuckles white and clench your eyes closed or you can scream as loud as you can, raise both hands in the air and embrace the ride!
You want to enjoy the Waiting Room, not just survive it.
So here's to life and embracing even the most uncertain times of waiting, because as my life is testimony, there is a suddenly around the corner.
By: Destiny Vandeput
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Blog: http://www.belgexan.com/
The Waiting Room: A Suddenly Around the Corner
By: Destiny Vandeput
Being alone just wasn’t something I was interested in.
I was that girl that always had a boyfriend and thrived off of all the drama that it would entail. I loved the attention and the activity; I loved the dates and I even enjoyed the fights.
The concept of a waiting room was not anywhere on my radar, I was having fun! Right?
Yet, even in all my “fun” of playing the field I was depressed, sad, constantly struggled with thoughts of suicide and above all else I viewed myself as someone who could never be fully loved for who I was. I was a dark person.
But for Jesus.
Isn’t that the phrase that has saved us all from a life of misery, depression and pain?
When I was 20 I had a radical encounter with Jesus that shook me to the core and forever changed my DNA. This girl who thought herself as too rough around the edges to ever be loved, all of a sudden was overwhelmed with the thick, ever encompassing love of Jesus that filled every crevice and left no area unaffected.
My life of sexual immorality had been washed in the blood of Jesus and I was healed; healed in places I didn’t even know I was wounded.
I left my old life and knew I never wanted to go back. I never wanted to be that dark person again.
Oddly enough God had a crazy plan for my life that would consist of meeting the man that was meant to be my husband the same month that began my transformation with God. He saw me at my darkest and lowest points and he saw me through my victories and breakthroughs. He saw me going through deliverance and inner healing. He saw me sobbing with snot coming in streams down my face; he saw me vomiting because my very body was rebelling against exposing and working through the pain of my own life. He saw my dark and then he saw my light and he loved me.
So my story of waiting is a little odd.
God transformed me at a school in Cyprus called Gateways Beyond and when I left that school I was an entirely different person, but I was also in love.
Do you know how confusing that was?
I was convinced that God would put me through a LONG period of singleness because I needed to pay some major penance for all my immorality, right? Because that’s so God who delights in punishing us for our mistakes? No. I should have known immediately that God had something different in store for me.
Within a year and a half of getting saved and meeting Jonathan, we were married. I don’t want to get into it all here, but if you are interested in reading our ENTIRE love story, you can do so HERE. But the main point is that God brought him into my life at ground zero, before I could construct walls, before I could block him out of certain areas. He and I began at my most vulnerable point and God knew that was what I needed to go into a marriage.
So there I was: the girl who had always been told she would always be too much for any man; that no one could truly love because her personality was too strong; God brought the perfect man for me. A strong, European man who was passionately in love with God, who challenges me and leads our marriage. Who encourages me to run hard after God and the things He has placed in my heart. Who has given me the gift of motherhood to the most beautiful little girl, the cutest little boy and another little boy on the way. Who has led us on an adventure that has landed us in another country contending for the Heavens to open over a region. And all of this in the last 5 years!
I’m living the life I never thought I wanted, but now know is everything I was meant to live and more.
You never know what can happen in your life and at what moment.
God works in suddenlies.
Literally one month I was partying, doing drugs and living a life of sexual immorality and the NEXT MONTH I had been radically changed. The next year I was married. The year after that I was a mother.
If there is one thing that I have experienced and am learning to embrace is that life changes quickly.
What may seem like an eternity waiting could be over in a blink of an eye.
So I guess that’s my encouragement to those in the Waiting Room. Trusting God and knowing that He has your very best in mind and that that very best may be the exact opposite of what you had in mind. That the life you are leading today may look entirely different than the life you will live a year from now.
The hardest part of waiting is being okay with that. Embracing the roller coaster that is our lives and saying, YES to the plans and purposes of a higher calling.
A grateful heart prepares the way for the Lord, yet you can be grateful for the rollercoaster ride the Lord is leading you on, but emotions are still a choice. You can hold on tight, knuckles white and clench your eyes closed or you can scream as loud as you can, raise both hands in the air and embrace the ride!
You want to enjoy the Waiting Room, not just survive it.
So here's to life and embracing even the most uncertain times of waiting, because as my life is testimony, there is a suddenly around the corner.
By: Destiny Vandeput
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Blog: http://www.belgexan.com/
12.28.2010
Single in this season...
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Waiting Room: Why I'm Still Single
By: Laura Stephens
Lately, it seems more and more people keep asking why I’m not married yet. I’m 29 and apparently I should be worried about being nearly 30 and still single. But…I’m not at all. There are so many reasons why I’m content with my life even if a husband isn’t in the picture. In fact, you could even say that I’m choosing to view my singleness as a privilege. Yes, it’s true. There are a lot of things to be thankful for in this stage of my life. Here, I’ll even list a few of my favorite things about being on my own.
* The ability to travel frequently all over the United States with my job. I’m gone a lot and I realize this wouldn’t be possible or wise if I were married. So…I’m loving this part of my life mucho gusto.
* Spending money and giving it away on things I decide on. This may appear a bit selfish but I really do enjoy buying things like pretty dresses or concert tickets without checking with another person.
* Sleeping late. No further explanation needed.
* Freedom to serve and give of my time and resources. I have a lot more free time than friends of mine who are married and have children. It’s fun and fulfilling to do things like volunteer at a homeless shelter, bake cookies for the elderly, go on mission trips with my church, etc.
* SLUMBER PARTIES! I love having my girl friends over and staying up late and being as loud as we want. I’ll never forget these times.
* Dating. It’s fun. I find joy and energy in meeting new people. Personally, I see nothing wrong with going on dates as long as I’m honest about how I’m feeling.
* Did I mention the freedom to travel? Oh yes, I’m mentioning it again because I’m planning a trip to Ireland/Scotland in a few months and it’s possible because of my stage of life. Are you tired of that saying yet? Hehe. Well…it’s the only one I can think of.
* Exploring passions and hobbies that I never thought I could do. I’m in the middle of so many projects – photography, music, blogging, creating, thrifting, sewing, a full time job I love, a new part time job at Urban Outfitters just because I’ve always wanted to and have the time, crafting, travel…and on and on and on. Life is so good.
* My apartment smells like a girl. Yea, I like that.
* Having the freedom to stay in Dallas or move across the country to Portland, OR. I have a crush on Portland and want to move there eventually. This would be a lot harder to do if I were married with little kiddos.
* Spoiling my adorable little niece. She won’t be here until February BUT I’m planning on loving on her every second I get because she’s the only baby my attention is going towards at the moment.
* Spending the holiday with my family instead of juggling the time. I’m soaking up the moments I have with my family because I know there could be a day when I have to pick and choose which holiday is spent where.
* Enjoying the life I have can be done without a husband. Basically, I’m content.
I’m content because I haven’t felt the way my married friends have about another person. I’m content because there is more to life than being married. I’m content because there’s a lot of living left to do and time goes by so quickly. And I’m content because I’m not ready for marriage…simple as that. Will I ever be? Possibly. But if not, I’m content knowing God knew my life would be ok without it. Maybe even great, and so far it has been.
Laura Stephens
Location: Dallas, TX
Blog: http://sunshineandstarlight.wordpress.com/
The Waiting Room: Why I'm Still Single
By: Laura Stephens
Lately, it seems more and more people keep asking why I’m not married yet. I’m 29 and apparently I should be worried about being nearly 30 and still single. But…I’m not at all. There are so many reasons why I’m content with my life even if a husband isn’t in the picture. In fact, you could even say that I’m choosing to view my singleness as a privilege. Yes, it’s true. There are a lot of things to be thankful for in this stage of my life. Here, I’ll even list a few of my favorite things about being on my own.
* The ability to travel frequently all over the United States with my job. I’m gone a lot and I realize this wouldn’t be possible or wise if I were married. So…I’m loving this part of my life mucho gusto.
* Spending money and giving it away on things I decide on. This may appear a bit selfish but I really do enjoy buying things like pretty dresses or concert tickets without checking with another person.
* Sleeping late. No further explanation needed.
* Freedom to serve and give of my time and resources. I have a lot more free time than friends of mine who are married and have children. It’s fun and fulfilling to do things like volunteer at a homeless shelter, bake cookies for the elderly, go on mission trips with my church, etc.
* SLUMBER PARTIES! I love having my girl friends over and staying up late and being as loud as we want. I’ll never forget these times.
* Dating. It’s fun. I find joy and energy in meeting new people. Personally, I see nothing wrong with going on dates as long as I’m honest about how I’m feeling.
* Did I mention the freedom to travel? Oh yes, I’m mentioning it again because I’m planning a trip to Ireland/Scotland in a few months and it’s possible because of my stage of life. Are you tired of that saying yet? Hehe. Well…it’s the only one I can think of.
* Exploring passions and hobbies that I never thought I could do. I’m in the middle of so many projects – photography, music, blogging, creating, thrifting, sewing, a full time job I love, a new part time job at Urban Outfitters just because I’ve always wanted to and have the time, crafting, travel…and on and on and on. Life is so good.
* My apartment smells like a girl. Yea, I like that.
* Having the freedom to stay in Dallas or move across the country to Portland, OR. I have a crush on Portland and want to move there eventually. This would be a lot harder to do if I were married with little kiddos.
* Spoiling my adorable little niece. She won’t be here until February BUT I’m planning on loving on her every second I get because she’s the only baby my attention is going towards at the moment.
* Spending the holiday with my family instead of juggling the time. I’m soaking up the moments I have with my family because I know there could be a day when I have to pick and choose which holiday is spent where.
* Enjoying the life I have can be done without a husband. Basically, I’m content.
I’m content because I haven’t felt the way my married friends have about another person. I’m content because there is more to life than being married. I’m content because there’s a lot of living left to do and time goes by so quickly. And I’m content because I’m not ready for marriage…simple as that. Will I ever be? Possibly. But if not, I’m content knowing God knew my life would be ok without it. Maybe even great, and so far it has been.
Laura Stephens
Location: Dallas, TX
Blog: http://sunshineandstarlight.wordpress.com/
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